Charon groans. ‘You know, I hate to give him the point, but you can’t play the Titan card. Hades is literally the one who put them in their cage.’
‘We all fought in the war,’ Thanatos protests.
‘The war was years ago. No one is disputing the fact that Hades dealt the final blow.’ Tartarus grins. ‘But since then someone has been sitting on a throne being waited on hand and foot.’
‘Let’s save this discussion for when you have a sword in your hand to defend your assertions, shall we?’ Hades says with finality.
The gods nod, like they’ve all suddenly realized the formality of the setting and that they aren’t in a training pit.
‘My king,’ they say as they depart.
‘Okay, was that really a discussion of whose sword is biggest?’ I whisper.
Hades chuckles. ‘You are utterly vulgar.’
I shrug. ‘Raised by nymphs, remember?’
‘And Demeter.’
‘And what child doesn’t act differently around a parent?’ I reply.
Hades goes to speak but his breath hitches, eyes catching on something that has him ducking his head like he can hide behind me.
‘What?’ I ask, turning and spotting a couple staring at us. When I look back at Hades he struggles to meet my eye. I realize what is happening rather abruptly and blurt, possibly too loudly, ‘Fates, is she an ex-girlfriend?’
‘No.’ Hades swallows. ‘He’s an ex-boyfriend.’
‘Oh.’
He glances up again, nods politely to them and swears. ‘No, no, you’re right. I went on a date with her once too.’
‘Who are they?’
Hades grimaces. ‘Minor gods Ponus and Philotes.’
Laughing at his discomfort is undoubtedly mean but it’s so funny I can’t help myself. ‘So how many people here have you been with?’
‘Not many,’ he says. ‘But it’s nice to see they’re banding together.’
We spend the rest of the evening making the rounds and I meet so many gods their names flit out of my head as easily as they went in. I meet the gods of the Underworld’s other four rivers, none of them what I would have expected. Lethe stands rigid, her eyes quick and ready, like she has absorbed every memory anyone has forgotten in her waters. Phlegethon is calm and subdued, like the river of fire has taken any anger he has to offer. Cocytus beams, more radiant than Helios or Apollo could ever hope to be. Perhaps only someone who has seen such sorrow as that which rushes through his waters can manage a smile like that – someone who has seen the pain this world offers but chooses the positive anyway. The river Acheron runs from the mortal plane into the Underworld so I’d expected its god to enjoy building connections, but Acheron isn’t particularly chatty. He solemnly nods at the things we say and excuses himself at the first opportunity.
And then of course Styx is there too.
‘My lord.’ She bows. ‘This is truly a surprise to us all.’
Hades tenses with long-suffering irritation. ‘Stop it.’
‘So you get to pretend and I don’t?’ She pouts.
‘What are you –’ I ask in alarm.
‘Oh don’t worry,’ she says. ‘Hades gets his magic smoke and I get an aura of warding. My secrets are kept whether I want to keep them or not – anyone overhearing us right now isn’t hearing what we’re saying. I doubt they can see us either, actually. It’s probably an amiable chat from their stance.’
‘Oh, so if I were to punch Hades no one would see it?’
‘What? Why do you want to punch me?’
‘I don’t. It was just an example.’
