It wasn’t all that different from how I used to watch them with my grandfather.
When Ivan spoke, his voice was choked: “That’s all?”
“It’s not a horror-movie title; it’s the shout of a raging misogynist at his long-suffering wife and—”
“Nadine, is that all?”
“Yeah,” I said. “That’s my only point.”
The silence returned. “I want you to be Adeline.”
“Oh.”
I didn’t really know what to say. It was too early to commit to a thing like that—and with Ivan I knew the promise would be binding. Was he intending a self-filmed project on campusor an indie blockbuster in five years’ time once he had developers secured?
“We’re filming this summer,” he continued. “Which is quick, I know. But I want this out there now. I’ve got investors lined up, not loads, of course, but enough for a small budget, and I think we could make it work. I sent the manuscript out just before Christmas, and it was … It was so quick, Nadine. All of it just fell into place. But I knew I wanted you to be Adeline, so I didn’t want to present it to you until that was as secure a position as it could be.”
I felt dazed from the avalanche of success he listed as though they were university assignments neatly ticked.
“I don’t need an answer right now. Just think about it.”
———
The week before auditions, everyone’s stress reached new peaks.
The drama students weren’t the only ones with life-changing opportunities at their fingertips—there were similar prizes for the Techies, for the students of fine art, fashion, and music. Second-year students faced an even tighter culling than that after first year. And third-year students faced their impending graduations. CADS felt wrought, tense, and like it was actively pushing us to the brink.
Audition times went up and vanished ten minutes later, scraps of paper clinging to the pin like taking the list might stop your competition. Rumors flew—that audition slots hadchanged, that certain types of performance gave you the best chance of success, that various students had cheated or would cheat, and, actually, was bribing even cheating, or could they all try that?
I tried to rise above it, which was easy only because I was so distracted by Ivan’s question. I hadn’t been able to get that screenplay out of my mind, to the point that I’d had to give it back to him, making him swear to keep it until after I got throughBlood Wedding.
I had a morning slot and arrived at the studio early to warm up. I moved my muscles, rolled my voice through scales, and stretched like it might make all the difference. With time left, I decided to run through lines, though I must have known it better than the playwright himself by that point.
I went back to the changing rooms, rummaging through my tote bag as my fingers brushed plastic.
I pulled it out and clapped my hand over my mouth in time to smother my scream—an honest-to-god, horror-movie scream—in response to the baggy caught between my fingers.
In case it weren’t abundantly clear just how sheltered I was, I’d never even seen drugs in person before. I knew they surrounded me, but no one had even offered me a joint, so apparent was it that my answer would be self-righteous scorn.
Still, I knew white powder in a press-seal bag was not flour.
And I knew it wasn’t fucking cheap.
So whoever had planted it on me wasn’t idly messing around. I flushed it like they did in movies, wrapping theempty bag in a pantyliner and shoving it in the menstrual waste bin.
I grasped my battered copy of the play with shaking hands just as Martin walked into the changing room, one of the caretakers who doubled as campus security on his heels.
“Nadine, I’m really sorry to do this, but we’ve had a report of … something,” he did genuinely sound quite sorry. But there was an edge too, like he truly could believe it of me.
“We need to look through your bag.”
I passed it over a little too quickly, only thinking a moment later to add: “Why?”
He eyed me carefully. “We’ll see.”
The elderly caretaker took his time searching through it, and my heart raced. What if there was more? What if they’d planted something else on me?
“There’s nothing here,” he finally concluded.
