But the new me… the new me isn’t so much looking forward to the new semester. After spending the holidays with my family and coming back here a few days ago, the whole place just doesn’t have the same sparkle to it.
Or maybe that’s me. Maybe I’m still a bit depressed after what happened that night with Logan.
I mean, what kind of jerk do you have to be to not come visit me in the hospital and make sure I’m all right? Ugh, I shouldn’t think about it, or about him. It’s nothing but a waste of time. Logan made it clear he doesn’t care about me, so I need to do the same.
When I don’t answer her right away, Sloane sets her cup down and says, “I take it by your silence, you’re not. I thoughtyou’d be happy to start going back to class. I thought being stuck here doing all your work and studying drove you nuts.”
She’s not wrong. I pretty much locked myself in this house last semester, when it was all said and done. Occasionally I had to go out and take some tests, but luckily I got by with Reese’s help.
Reese. I honestly don’t know what I would’ve done if it wasn’t for him. Unlike Logan, he’s a good one. Or, at least, I think he is. I never had to ask Reese for help, he was just there, offering it, spending all of his free time to make sure I had everything I could possibly need. I haven’t spoken to him since before the holidays, which feels weird to me.
What’s even weirder is that he’s not going to be my professor anymore. He’s still teaching at MSU, but not any of my classes.
I shrug. “I don’t know. I’m just nervous, I guess.” With a shake of my head, I mutter, “It’s stupid, but I think I feel worse about this semester than I did in the fall when I first met you.” I don’t have to say his name for her to know who I’m talking about.
Sloane frowns. “Fuck that Logan asshole. He’s rotten to the core. You’re so much better than him, Wren. You shouldn’t waste your time thinking about him—I bet he hasn’t spent a single second thinking about you.”
She’s never made her hatred of Logan a secret. She never liked him from the beginning, not really. Her favorite adjective, rotten, has been used countless times to describe him and everything he does, and that word is reserved for the worst of the worst.
“I know,” I whisper. “I’m trying. I’m not saying I want to see him, I just…” I bring my elbows to the island and set my head in my hands, digging my fingers through my hair. I need to shower. Its brown length is looking more black with grease than anythingelse. “It’s like I went from obsessing over my ex to obsessing over Logan, like I can’t help it.”
Sloane purses her lips in thought. “You need to stop being so serious. It’s not good for you. Weren’t you just saying new year, new you? You need to put in the work so it’s true.”
“I don’t know how.” It’s a nice thought, in theory, the new year, new me thing, but it’s a lot more difficult to put it into practice. I’m not the kind of girl who can just let loose whenever I want, someone who can close my eyes and forget about all the anxieties and regrets pressing down upon me at every turn.
My head? Not the best place to be.
“Well, I might know where we can start.” The smile that graces her mouth right then is downright mischievous, and before she says what she says next, I have the feeling I already know where this is going. “There’s a party—”
I groan. There’s always a party around here, apparently. This college seems to be less about the overall education and more about having fun and underage drinking. “You know, this whole thing with Logan is kind of your fault. I wouldn’t know who he is if I never went out with you.”
“Yeah, but it worked to get you over your ex, didn’t it?” She’s not wrong, I guess. “Now you just need to do it all over again to get over that asshole.”
“And what if I get tangled up with someone else who’s worse?”
“Hmm. If that happens, I’m going to really start to question your choice of men.”
It’s true. I don’t have the best track record when it comes to picking out guys. First was Mike, my cheating ex, and then it was Logan, a guy who has never been in a relationship before, a guy who is used to having all the girls chase after him… a guy who apparently doesn’t care at all about me and my well-being. I guess I misjudged him.
Stupid me.
Sloane says, “Look, I’m not saying you need to throw yourself at the first guy you see, but you should at least try to put yourself out there. You don’t need to go home with anyone. Just have some fun. Make out with a guy whose name you don’t know. Have a drink or two. Loosen up. I’d argue the worst that could happen has already kind of happened to you, so—”
I don’t know about that. I could get killed. Raped. Beaten. Kidnapped. The list goes on and on, but as I stare at my roomie, I realize she doesn’t think any of that could happen. Jeez, she must’ve lived a privileged life to never think about those possibilities. As girls, stuff like that is kind of on the forefront of our minds all the time, isn’t it?
Never walk alone at night. Never leave your drink unattended. Never be alone with a guy you don’t know—broke that last one when I went home with Logan, so I really need to learn my lesson there.
“I don’t know,” I say, not really feeling like I’m in the partying sort of mood. Then again, even if everything was hunky dory in my life, I can’t say I’d want to party then, either. Me and partying never went hand-in-hand, for obvious reasons.
“Hey, remember our deal last semester? I let you off after the accident, but you’re better now. You owe me a lot of nights out,” she reminds me.
Oh, right. I did say I’d go out with her since she wasn’t charging me rent. She has me there. Why couldn’t she have forgotten that tiny little detail?
The smile she wears right then is both oddly chilling and sly. “Saturday night, clear your schedule. I’ll get our outfits ready, and all you have to do is show up. Don’t worry. We’ll make this semester one to remember.”
I don’t know if that sounds like a good idea, but I also know there isn’t any arguing with her. She’s the most strong-willedperson I’ve ever met. I always assumed it was due to the wealth she grew up with.
Then again, she’s also seen some death. Let’s not forget her father was a serial killer who raped her mother and killed her mother’s friends. Yeah, maybe Sloane isn’t the best girl to take advice from, but at this point, it’s too late to turn back. Besides, she’s pretty much my only friend. If I didn’t have her, I’d be alone, and as pitiful as it might be, I don’t think I could handle being alone.
