That’s exactly what I was hoping for, but as I sit there under his stare, I start to wonder if I’m not going to get any of that here. I thought Reese would be jealous, that he’d get prickly orsomething, especially after our little date in the cemetery the other weekend.
This is not going how I thought it would.
Cocking his head, he asks quietly, “Do you want me to convince you not to, or do you want me to give you permission to go?”
My heart beats wildly in my chest, and I mutter, “I don’t know what I want. Logan is… last semester, it really hurt when he ghosted, especially after the accident. I know he didn’t owe me anything—it’s not like we were together when it happened—but it would have been nice if…”
“If he would’ve acted differently,” Reese finishes for me.
“Yeah. But he didn’t. He went silent, and I thought I’d never see him again. The last thing I thought would ever happen is an invite to a mic night. For someone who was so against getting on that stage with me that night, why would he want to do it alone this time?”
“Could be he’s doing it for you.” The look I give Reese when he says that makes him chuckle. “Is that really so out there, that he could be doing it for you?”
I shift in my seat. “If you know Logan, then you know he pretty much only ever does things for himself. He’s not the kind of guy who goes out on a limb for anybody, especially girls. He made that very clear last semester.”
“And yet he invited you to this mic night. You, not any other girl.”
“That I know of.”
“That you know of,” he agrees with me, “but I can’t imagine why he’d go out on a limb and invite you while also inviting other girls. To an objective third party, it seems as though he’s signaling you out. He wants you there. You. So, I guess the real question is, do you want to go?”
I’m silent. I don’t know what to say or even how to say it. Things are strangely simple when it comes to Reese, but Logan? Things were never simple. They weren’t easy. Even if I wasn’t seeing Reese, I don’t know that I’d want to step back into the chaos again with him.
I decide to switch things around on him, seeing as how he’s remarkably calm during this conversation: “I thought you’d tell me not to go.”
“Wren, I won’t tell you not to do anything. If you want to go, you should go.”
“But… it doesn’t make you—” I pause and glance around, as if there are other people in the room that can overhear what I’m about to say. But that’s dumb, because it’s just us, and the door is closed. “—jealous? After everything, I thought you would be.”
“You potentially going to this mic night doesn’t change the fact that you’re mine.” The way he says it, so confidently, is ridiculously attractive to me, for some reason. Like he’s not worried at all. “I could see it from the beginning, the first day of class last semester. There was something between you two. Whether or not there still is something there is ultimately up to you to decide. I can’t and won’t tell you what to do when it comes to Logan, but for the record, you are still mine.” The corners of his mouth quirk upward, and I find myself blushing in response.
This man’s smirk does something to me, I swear. It makes me feel all giddy and warm inside.
Eventually, I say, “You are no help.”
“Aren’t I? I think you needed to talk about it with someone who wouldn’t judge you either way. You don’t feel better after this talk?”
I open my mouth, my first instinct to say that I do not feel better, but before I get the chance, I realize that would be a lie. I do feel better, strangely enough. Reese isn’t upset or jealous. He will understand my decision either way, and he’s not tellingme what to do. It’s not how I imagined this talk going, but I also can’t complain.
So, instead I say, “Maybe I do, but I still don’t know what to do. If I should go or not.”
“If you do go, what are you worried about?”
I shrug. “I don’t know. That we’ll fall into old habits. That I’ll get sucked into his vortex again. Logan is…” I can’t exactly say he’s an ex-rockstar who’s used to getting his way when it comes to girls and such. “…we’re just very different people. Incompatible, some would probably say.”
“Are you one of those people who say that? Do you think you’re incompatible with Logan?” The way he watches me, waiting, there is no judgment in his stare, none at all, and it’s almost like he already knows what my answer will be.
“The person he was… yeah. We’re not compatible. I don’t know if someone like him can change. Before he came to MSU, his life was different. He probably still wants that life back. It’s not a life I would ever want to be a part of.”
There’s a difference between singing for your silly channel and actually being a rockstar. I don’t party. I don’t drink. I don’t touch drugs of any kind. The wildest I’ve been was hooking up with Logan and Reese. That’s the extent of my crazy activities.
Reese debates this. “Well, I suppose there’s only one way to tell for certain.”
He means go. Going to this mic night, giving Logan a chance, is the only way to tell whether he’s different or not. If he’s changed.
“I don’t want to get hurt again,” I whisper.
“You won’t. And if, by some chance, you do, then you’ll still have me. I’m not going anywhere. If Logan tries to wrong you again, I can handle him for you, if you want me to.”
