I chuckle softly. If only she knew. But, right now, that’s a secret between Logan and I. Maybe someday one of us will tell her, but that day is not today. Besides, if she doesn’t want me doing any more mazes, I won’t…
But there is one person who still needs retribution for what he did. The driver of the car, the one the police eventually stopped looking for. He’ll go into a maze, even if it’s my last maze ever. I will not let him get away with hurting Wren like he did.
And if that means I keep it a secret from her for the rest of our lives, then that’s what I’ll do.
“No, I won’t throw Logan into a maze if you decide to pursue things with him,” I tell her, meaning it. “Now… I suppose I should take you home, since this is a school night and all—”
The corners of Wren’s mouth tug into a gentle smile. “Maybe I wouldn’t mind staying up a little late with you.” Though she doesn’t outright say it, I know exactly what she means: she doesn’t want to go home just yet.
Perfect, really, because I don’t want to take her home yet either.
Tonight, she’s all mine.
Chapter Twenty-One – Wren
I probably should be freaking out more.
That’s the thought that lingers in my head the next few days. I mean, Reese is into some weird things, sure, but cameras? Mazes that people might not make it out of? That’s kidnapping and murder, isn’t it? Even if he doesn’t do the, uh, final blow himself, he’s the reason they’re gone. Murder-adjacent.
That’s messed up. That’s so messed up. I’m not so blinded by infatuation that I don’t see it, but at the same time, I can’t imagine strolling into the police station and talking to the cops about Reese and his activities.
I’d lose him, and I don’t think I could stomach that. It might not make sense, most normal people might think I’m crazy, but I can’t lose him.
Accepting Reese, craving Reese, means I have to accept every single part of him, even if it’s hard. His wants, his desires, the not-so-legal activities he gets up to when he’s alone. All of it.
Never, not once in my life, did I ever think I’d be where I am today. Not only am I torn between two guys, but I’m also caught up in a mess with each of them. Reese and his mazes and cameras, and Logan and his ex-rockstars crap. What has my life turned into lately? A freaking soap opera.
I do feel better after talking to Reese about it. Finding out he’s open to me exploring things with Logan definitely does lessen the anxiety in me, but a part of me still doesn’t know what to do. If I go to this mic night, things could go one of two ways: either something would happen and we’d be drawn together by that same invisible force that kept pushing us together last semester, or we’d blow up past the point of no return.
Am I ready for something like that? Am I ready to fully cut the cord with Logan, or accept the fact that fate still wants ustogether? I don’t know. I’m not experienced in this sort of thing. This is all so new to me.
And I can’t really talk about it with Sloane. She knows the whole Logan bit, but she doesn’t know anything about Reese, other than the fact that he’s a sexy professor who was my saving grace last semester. I can’t tell her about the cameras. She’d probably freak out, and for good reason.
Ugh, what a mess.
I don’t know if I’m going to that mic night. I don’t know if I can take it. My heart has already taken a beating; it’s starting to feel better thanks to Reese, but Logan has a way of getting inside me and shattering me from the inside-out. It’s his superpower.
I just don’t know.
As the days go by and time moves ever forward, closer and closer to the mic night, I get more and more in my head. I start to lose sleep. I actually miss a few questions on a quiz in my sociology of aging class—and stuff like that never happens to me.
See? Mic night hasn’t even come around and Logan’s already in my head, messing things up for me.
I’m so caught up in whether I should go or not that I become clumsier, too. As in, between classes, I don’t really watch where I’m going. I bump into more people than ever before. It’s awkward and embarrassing.
I wish I could see into the future and know which decision is the right one.
Suddenly it’s the Friday of the mic night, and I still haven’t made up my mind. When I spent some time with Reese last weekend, he asked me what I was planning on doing, and I told him the truth: I still didn’t know.
God, I need a sign or something.
That afternoon, I go to grab a late lunch after all of my classes. The student union isn’t so busy at this weird time of day, so I have my pick of the food places inside it. Can never go wrongwith a footlong sub sandwich, full of turkey and yummy banana peppers. I stuff it into my bag after I pay, sling the strap over my shoulder, and walk out of the area where the eateries are.
With a measured pace, I walk through the rows and rows of mostly empty tables to reach the nearest exit to the outside world. Today is unseasonably warm, so I only wear a hoodie instead of an actual winter jacket. All the snow from the past few weeks melted, leaving behind a wet, muddy mess.
That’s what sucks about winter. When the weather plays games, everything gets gross.
I push outside, take a few steps, and then stop momentarily as the weight of tonight’s decision descends upon my shoulders. I need more time to decide. If only I could press pause on life. These are the moments where I hate being such an overthinker. There’s absolutely nothing fun about getting lost in your own head while the world continues to revolve around you, while everyone is totally unaware of your inner turmoil.
