"I want you ready for me. Trust me."
"I'm ready."
He smiles. It's the first full smile I've ever seen on his face. It almost wrecks me.
"You're going to be more ready in two minutes."
He goes back to it. He puts two fingers inside me and curls them forward against a place I didn't know was there. A half-word breaks out of me. He keeps his thumb on my clit and works pressure inside me until I'm coming again, harder than the first time, my whole body shaking under his hand.
When I come down he's standing beside the bed undoing his belt. I watch him. His chest is heaving. His cock is hard against the front of his boxer briefs, and seeing the shape of him this time is different from feeling it.
He sheds the rest. He gets a condom from the drawer of the nightstand. He puts it on without looking away from me. Then he climbs back up the bed and settles between my thighs. The weight of him pinning me down is the most intimate thing I have ever felt.
He kisses me, slow, while his hand goes between us and he positions himself at my entrance.
"This is going to stretch."
"Okay."
"Look at me when I do it."
"Okay."
I look at him. His eyes are open and stripped: fear, tenderness, want, all of it, every wall he's built peeled off because he can't afford a wall right now. I hope this is a version of him no other woman has seen. I'm choosing to believe it is.
He pushes inside me.
The pressure is more than I expected. There's a sharp pinch and then a stretch. A small whimper escapes me, not pain but not pleasure either, just the body of someone who hasn't had this happen before.
He stops. He's barely an inch in. His arms are shaking with the effort of staying still.
"Hurt?"
"Stretch."
"Breathe out."
I breathe out. He pushes in a little more.
"More?"
"Yes."
"You sure?"
"Yes."
He sinks in slow, an inch at a time, checking my face for each one. By the time he's all in I'm stretched around him completely. I had no idea I could feel this full. He holds himself still. He drops his forehead to mine.
"How are you, babe."
"Good. I'm good."
"Yeah?"
"Yes. Move, Kane. Please move."
He moves.
