Page 9 of An Education in Longing

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Apparently, the top spot was for him, and him alone.

And here she was, accidentally occupying it.This is a mistake, she wanted to say.I don’t know how this happened, she wanted to say. But she knew he wouldn’t listen, that none of that would hold any weight with him. So instead, she slid toward the edge of the stone table she was still sprawled on. Slowly, slowly, slowly, breathheld, no clue in her head where she was going to escape to but doing her best to do it anyway. If she could just get down onto the grass, she told herself, as she squirmed one foot over the edge and down. Toes straining for the ground inside that shitty patent leather shoe she shouldn’t have worn, hands tight on the stone to stop herself sliding all at once, body trembling like a plucked wire.

She had almost made it, when something scratched the back of her shin.

She felt it bite into her skin and couldn’t help her sound of pain and surprise when it did. Just a small one, and she managed to cut it off immediately with her hand over her mouth. But it was enough, she could tell. His back clearly stiffened the second it happened. That raised wand lowered, slow, slow.

While she stood there frozen, quivering, awaiting her doom.

Barely able to breathe. Barely able to think. Almost wanting to plead.

And still, it was a jolting horror when he suddenly turned. Whip quick, wand ready, face so hungry for whoever was trying to steal his prize. He looked like a demon in the slanting moonlight. So when he took a menacing step toward her, she did the only thing she could.

She hauled herself up onto the plinth. Then she scooted back across it, too fast for her frantic hands. One of them gave as she went; she wound up sprawled on her back. Her head clunked against the stone, hard enough to briefly daze her.

But she still felt that hand on her ankle.

Like she had imagined him doing in the hall of headmasters—only somehow even scarier. It tugged, and she slid so fast and so easily across the surface it stole her breath. For a second she thought,God, I’m just going to fly right off the end and directly intohis mouth. And just as she was coming to terms with that terrible thought, he simply launched himself up. All in one move, like a great cat pouncing on its prey.

Before landing like an enormous cage over her completely defenseless body. His hands slapped the stone on either side of her head, hard enough that the crack hurt her ears. She tried to immediately move her legs and encountered what had to be his thighs on either side of her.

It was bad; it was really bad.

But having to look up into his face was worse.

His black eyes glittered, as deathless and cold as they had been when she’d first been at his feet. And now they practically crawled over her face, the messy cloud of her dark hair, the hands she had somehow bunched into the beige blouse she shouldn’t have worn. He saw it, and a flicker of distaste crossed those classically handsome features.

Though strangely, they looked a little less classically handsome up this close. She could see now that he had a slight gap between his two front teeth. That his scything cheeks were a little softer than she had first thought. That his mouth was too curlicue, his eyebrows too messy.

They almost met in the middle.

Yet somehow, none of those things seemed to make him ugly.

They just made her flash on the boy in the long grass again. That face different, but the resemblance was there. It made her flinch, when whoever was laid with him whispered some soft words.You are so pretty, she said, in a voice that felt even more familiar than he did.

She had to bat it away.

Clearly, he was just fucking with her mind somehow.

“Get off me,” she spat, with all the anger and frustration she hadn’t been able to aim at him in the hall. She even somehow managed to shove at his chest—for all the good it did her. It was like striking stone. The impact hurt the wrist she’d already pranged, painful enough that she clutched at it.

Much to his amusement.

“You made it all the way to the heart of this terrible labyrinth, and that’s all you have? A little love tap? I’m afraid you’re going to have to do better than that if you want to keep cheating your way through the ranks,” he sneered.

As if that was going to make her give in.

“I didn’t cheat, you asshole. It just happened.”

“Of course it did, of course.”

“The maze moved.”

“So it just favored you, for no reason.”

“You think I want to be here, trapped underneathyou?”

Something dark flickered across his face—anger maybe.