“Uhh.” He walked away from me, then returned. “Aye, Your Majesty. It is.”
“What the hell is he doing at the bloody docks?”
The man pushed his lips forward, taking me in with round brown eyes. “I can’t say. Should I find out?”
“No, no, no. I’ll just walk fast. Do you see him?” The man looked left, then right. Then he shook his head. I gripped the little bundle of traveling clothes Theodore had left me and bounded out of the carriage without taking the footman’s hand. “Thank you.”
The docks were crammed and sprawling. Rows and rows of damp wooden planks and a forest of masts surrounded me on all sides. I was swallowed up by sailors and merchants hauling goods up and down gangplanks, their whistles and shouts piercing my ears. Squinting through the sunlight, I read the nameboards on the bows, and when I reached the end of the first run of decking I stopped. The water in the harbor was so blue and clear, so gentle and rolling, that I nearly forgot what swam through it.
A ship in the distance caught my eye. I raised a hand to block theglare. Those were Obelian flags flapping at the top of each of the ship’s four masts. A cluster of ice-blue runes on a sapphire background that had always reminded me of snowflakes.
That was the empress’s ship.
The wedding was currently being prepared for—the entire palace in a spin to see that everything was done and ready. I couldn’t comprehend why the empress would leave just days before her beloved daughter wed, what with her demands and detailed contracts ensuring Halla’s devoted care. All that talk of heirs and allowances and gardens to worship her monstrous saint in, and she was leaving before seeing Halla in her bridal gown.
The ship slunk past the breakwaters and realization struck me. The empress would never have left unless she’d gotten what she’d truly come here for.
Her contracts.
Her trade routes secured, treaties guaranteed. My stomach fell. Theodore must have signed them. For why else would a woman like the empress come all this way south? She could have shipped Halla off to be married on her own, like all rulers did with their children. She did not make the treacherous journey for the love of her child, even if she had sacrificed her husband to have her. Everything the empress did, every choice she made, every order and request, secured her own power.
A chill slithered over my skin despite the warm afternoon. I gritted my teeth at the building pressure in my chest when resounding whoops and cheers drew me in. Behind me, the crowd shifted and fanned out as the metallic clacking of armor sounded. I rose up on my toes and saw a flash of gold.
It was Theodore’s retinue. He must have seen the empress off. Princess Halla’s halo of white hair came first, luminescent as a pearl stolen from the seafloor. The glimpse was quick, as his soldierssoon barred my line of sight. Mindless and foolhardy, I pushed my way to the front of the throng. It was as if my body were being drawn by a magnet, my gaze hungry for a parting view of him.
A boot landed on my toe; an elbow jabbed my sternum. I tucked myself behind a tall, broad dockworker and when I saw Theodore, I lost all sense of pain and place. I evanesced into nothing but yearning. He looked like a myth, as stern and beautiful as the God he’d come from. His soot-colored coat and trousers accentuated the stunning lines of his body. The wind had pulled at a few dark locks, and they waved over his brow. I was close enough to see the green of his eyes, the curving line of his full lips. His mood was gloomy, his head bent down to the decking as he passed.
That weight on my chest crushed down harder. I wanted to screamLook at me,but I drove my teeth together. I stared at his back for one more tight breath before I forced myself away from the crowd of onlookers.
“Imogen?”
I froze, then whirled to see Lachlan, suited in his golden, vine-etched armor. He’d broken away from the procession and taken me in with startled hazel eyes. He closed the space between us in a few long-legged steps.
“I’m leaving. I’m just looking for the—”
He threw his arms around me. His rerebraces and vambraces pinched my arms. His breastplate scuffed my chin.
I grunted. “What the hell are you doing?”
He pulled away and held me by the shoulders. “Glad you’re not dead.”
My brows quirked. “Was I nearly?”
His mouth popped open as some memory seemed to surface in his mind. “Theodore certainly thought so,” he said, somber. “Agatha too. They mourned that first day as if you’d gone.”
I shrugged out of his hold, hating the way my eyes stung. “But not you, right, Commander? Death would have been a much cheaper way to be rid of me, after all.”
His mouth twisted sardonically. “You think I wanted you dead?”
“The lover of your king is your enemy, and all that.” My brows rose. “I almost killed you too, don’t forget.”
“I hadn’t.” He shook his head. “I don’t want you dead. I don’t want Theo miserable, which he currently is. I just need this kingdom whole and safe.” He stared out over the bustling docks. He bore a new burden too. It was in the grim line of his brow, the somber set of his mouth. “How do we see all that done?” I gave my head a resigned shake, which he met with a condescending look. “Come now, you’re the embodiment of a Great Goddess. Ichor in your veins. Stubborn and greedy for what’s yours. You’ll find a way.” He pointed to a ship behind me. “That one.” His half smile left his eyes flat, cheerless. “Goodbye, Imogen.”
Despite his words, it was a hopeless farewell. I could only nod in reply as he started on his way. “Lachlan,” I called out, surprising myself. He returned with a question on his face. “I… could use your advice. You spent all those years away from Agatha… How? How did you keep yourself together?”
He scratched at his chin with a gauntleted hand. “You don’t want my advice.”
“I’m low on options, Commander.”
