Theodore’s mood had become solemn and thoughtful, and I mulled over the oddity of it as I ate quickly and dressed even faster. When I was ready, he jutted his chin to a chair near the door.
“Put that on.”
Another of his cloaks was draped over the it, his deep-green one, trimmed in gold-threaded vines. I threw it over my shoulders as he watched me intently by the low light of the lantern in his fist. I couldn’t parse that look, but it was dark and unwavering and made my skin flush. When I was ready, he led us out into the night, books and lantern in hand.
The evening was cold, the wind fair and water gentle, which left need for only a small crew. I thought we’d be sneaking over the deck, but Theodore walked straight down its middle, head high, until we reached the ladder of the forecastle. He led us to the bowsprit and nodded to the net below it. “After you.”
The pulse in my middle felt like a temperamental companion now, familiar but still dangerous. My control and confidence in it had grown, but I felt more tenuous on the sea than I did on land. The salt air was a fuel that I wasn’t certain I’d be able to fully douse. “What if I—”
His mouth curved, dimple flashing. “Do you think I’d miss an opportunity to tie you up? There’s some rope down there already.”
We climbed over the rail and settled onto the netting as the ship breathed up and down like a massive beast. The night air bit at our cheeks. Theodore sat close this time and hung the lantern from a little hook beneath the bowsprit that I imagined he’d placed there himself.
The anger I’d felt toward him the first time we’d been here had banked, but in truth, little had changed. There was still no way for us to keep one another, still no guarantee that I could end Eusia without ending myself. It had made me want to keep myself as far as possible from him then, but now the terror and uncertainty made me greedy for as much of him as I could get.
Quiet, thoughtful, with the wind mussing his dark hair, Theodore lifted the rope. “Give me your hands.”
I lifted them and was enthralled by the languid way he brought one of them to his lips. He kissed the end of my fingers before looping the rope around my wrists tormentingly slowly.
My breaths came quick and I glanced at the books he’d brought with us. Their titles shone in the lamplight.
The Art of the Spell. The Mage’s Draught. Prophecies, Seers, and Intention.
The man who had once forbidden me from using magic was now prepared to help me learn it. A host of feelings tumbled through me, and when I couldn’t articulate a single one, I asked, “How long before we reach Della?”
Green eyes flicked toward mine. Then away. He wound the rope around my fingers and back toward my wrists. “Two or three days.” He spoke in a graveled mumble. “It depends on the wind.”
He tested the knot, then forced his hands away from me. The ship dipped, jostling us. The grip he formed on his knees was so tight his knuckles were going white and he slipped into a quiet brood. I wasn’t sure how to pull him out. “What’s it like there?” I asked. “In Della.”
Slowly, he studied my face, my neck, my fluttering hair. He’d locked himself in some imaginary fetters too, I could tell, keeping himself from coming closer.
“Kardinia, the smaller island, is packed and dirty.” He took a long pause as he traced the line of my lips. “I prefer the larger island… where… where all the animals roam.”
“Theo,” I whispered, noting his misery. “You can touch me.”
The invisible bind on his body snapped. A slow breath escaped him. The hand he raised to my lips was warm and he used the tip of his finger to draw their outline. He slipped his finger past them, into the heat of my mouth, and let out a soft groan before he pulled it out again and continued speaking in a strangled voice. “Before I left Varya, I got an interesting letter,” he said. His words were made fuzzy by his excruciatingly gentle touch. He drew his fingers from my lips, down my chin, until they skated down the front of my throat. “The Dellen queen is growing old and rather than appoint an heir, she’s decided to change the structure of Della and Gos’s government to that of a republic.”
“A republic?” I breathed.
He nodded. “There are far away countries who have had success doing such a thing—having a land ruled by its people,” he said, his words husky. He reached the front of my cloak and undid the pin. “I can’t imagine the mess of the transition. Or what sort of nightmare it will be dealing with the untrained people they elect to power.”
I tried my best to sound affronted, but it was impossible with his hand drawing through the front of my shirt. “I’m untrained,” I said, defensively. I wanted to believe they—and I—could learn. “I have no business ruling a kingdom.”
A wicked smile tipped his lips. “You make my point for me.” Then he was tilting me backward, laying me out across the net. The weight of his body settling over mine was a comfort, but he looked fierce, hungry, as he pressed my bound hands over my head and began to undo my shirt buttons.
My entire body glowed, but that thumping in my stomach grew brighter too. I held my breath at the pressure building through me, at the itch on my back where my wings wanted to break forth. I clamped down on the impulse. “I thought you were going to read to me, Theo.”
Theodore had no such hold on himself. He was wild with some mix of need and helpless fear. He skated his fingers over my chest and tenderly slid the front of my shirt open. Waves shattered against the hull beneath us, our bodies rocking with their force, and he stared down at me for a glittering, drawn-out moment, until finally, he hooked a finger over the top of my bindings and tugged until he uncovered one breast.
“I’ll read to you,” he crooned. The crease in his brow deepened as his focus roved across my skin. He bent his head and took the tip of my breast into his mouth, making me gasp and arch. He teased it, asoft swipe of his hot tongue, then sucked hard before releasing me. He brought our eyes even, our lips close, and the look on his face was desolate. “Magic will take you from me, Imogen.” His words were all breath, soft against my mouth. “I’m afraid that my fate is to lose you again and again.”
I almost kissed him. Almost tried to wipe our minds with the oblivion of it. Our bodies adjusted, slowly moving so I cradled his hips between mine. We knotted our legs, I felt the hard press of him against my center, and as I fought for even breaths, I searched for a way to assure him that I wouldn’t let magic overtake me, that once I succeeded in defeating Eusia, I would stop. But for the first time, I feared it might have an unbreakable claim on me—just like he did.
He fisted my hair, tilting my head back, lowering his mouth toward mine. My heart thundered with rising panic. I had fought so hard to keep myself together, and his kiss would unravel me entirely. “Theo…” I said, stopping him from leaning in closer. I dragged my nose against the end of his. “You… you always say such pretty things to me. And I have never reciprocated…”
He laughed, a hot breath against my lips. “Immy—”
“Listen.” I said, serious. “In part it’s because I don’t possess your skill with words, but more than that—which will be no surprise to you—it’s because I’m afraid.”
