He’d what? Get her a blanket? She was tempted to wait him out and hear what he intended. But she might end up with more than she bargained for or less of what she wanted. “I’m fine.” She released a heavy sigh.
He pierced her with a knowing look.
“Yeah, sorry. That wasn’t very convincing.”
He lifted the corner of his mouth in a smile.
“I guess, if I’m being honest…” She nibbled the corner of her lip. Every truth she hid whirled through her mind. She wanted to reveal everything. But how much honesty could she share before he turned away and stomped on her heart?
“I’ve never known you to be anything otherwise. Please don’t start pretending to be someone else now.”
“Good point.” She shrugged. “I feel sort of… silly.”
“Why?” He narrowed his gaze and tipped his head to the side.
But he didn’t stare at her with condemnation. He wasn’t judging her. Instead, he studied her with contemplation and slight confusion, like he hadn’t known her his whole life.
The idea of a fresh start was surprising and tempting, a hint of what they could have been if they’d met as adults without a lifetime’s worth of baggage and experience between them. Like he hadn’t been her first everything, and she was someone mysterious and worth getting to know. Like she wasn’t his free gift with purchase.
She raised a shaky hand, pushing a loose tendril behind her ear. “I’m nobody’s first choice. I’ve never let that bother me before. With the Inn, though,” she exhaled a heavy breath. “I took everything here for granted. Coming back, I’ve had to reassess. Everyone is here but different. Mature. And me? I’m stuck. I guess I worry about you laughing at me,” she murmured.
The soft words delivered a heavy punch in the silence that followed.
Bullseye.Her verbal arrows accidentally hit the truth with pinpoint accuracy. She wished she hadn’t said anything. She wanted to crawl inside her sweater and disappear. She fought the urge to do just that. Only since coming back did she fully appreciate what she had relinquished and could never get back.
He’d always been there. She’d taken him for granted, too. She’d been so blind that she missed the incredible person who—at one point—had loved her and devoted himself to her. He agreed to her whims and plans for years. Now she couldn’t trust that she wasn’t tied up in his ultimate goal of owning the Inn because of the games she’d played. With her previous departure, she’d done the hard work of removing herself, his obstacle, from the path to his success.
“I’m not laughing at you.” He reached a hand over to her chair, resting on the arm. “I’ve only laughed with you.”
“You didn’t choose me,” she whispered, too scared to speak louder. She stared at his hand so close. She placed him in the center of an unwinnable situation. As someone who had prided herself on setting him up for the easy answer, she’d tossed him into the middle of a storm without warning. “I’m sorry for… what happened. I shouldn’t have put you on the spot.”
“I am, too.”
She met his gaze. “You are?”
He nodded. “I should have picked you.”
“I didn’t make that a compelling choice.” She scrunched her nose, fighting the burning sensation. She’d wanted him to follow her without question. Would she have respected him for doing so? She’d put them both in an impossible position that produced bad results no matter the decisions.
She’d needed a decade to understand that. And she couldn’t tell him what she’d realized, or she’d lose him. She glanced at her purse. Inside, the mysterious envelope sat. She imagined it beating like a heart under the floorboards. She should want him to go. He broke her heart years ago. Realizing he still had the power to shatter the pieces was an awful discovery.
“Mr. Brixen stopped me in the lobby earlier. He said he handed you a package?” Christopher asked.
She flushed with embarrassment. How clearly he could read her face even after all these years. She opened her bag and slipped out the thick envelope, extending it to him.
He grabbed it. “Thank you.”
“What is it? A job offer?” she asked, unable to stop herself from getting at least a few clear answers.
“Is that what you want?” He studied her as he dropped the envelope to the table.
No.She forced her shoulder to lift in a lame attempt at nonchalance. With any luck, he didn’t notice the shake in her hands. Winning would be a hollow victory at best. She understood now how much she stood to lose by claiming the prize. He’d leave. She’d had a life without him. She didn’t want that again.
He wiggled an eyebrow. “Maybe I got you a job offer.”
She lightly jabbed him in his shoulder.
He chuckled, low and long. “I’m kidding, of course. You were right to come home. You belong here. You’re part of the fabric of this place.”
