His eyes formed fine slits. “Calem, Ozias, go get the Zeelahs and our gear. We should leave the moment she returns.”
The two shared a silent exchange before disappearing. We’d already packed our things, but Leena had demanded we leave the Zeelahs behind so as not to spook the Poi.
“She’s getting to you, isn’t she?” Kost pressed his hands along his buttoned tunic, searching for nonexistent wrinkles.
“It was just her charm.”
“Was it?”
“Yes.”No.I didn’t know. Kost knew that, too.
He adjusted his glasses, eyes boring into me. “You need to be careful. It’s been years since Bowen—”
“Don’t.” A heavy breeze worked its way through the tree leaves, the steady rustle the only sound around us. “Don’t say his name.”
Kost cracked, a flicker of sadness tugging at his lips. “I’m sorry, Noc. I just don’t want to see you hurt again.”
“There’s no need to worry about that, is there?” I tapped the bounty mark on my wrist. “You know as well as I do that if I don’t kill her, my head will roll.”
Kost winced. “That can’t happen. The guild needs you. We need you. I just worry that if you let emotion take over—”
“I’ll be fine. Iamfine.”
He didn’t relent. “Ozias and Calem might not know the extent of your curse, but I do. I couldn’t imagine your life. Precariously balancing on the edge of caring too much while praying it’s not enough to hurt us. Are you saying you’re not the least bit tempted?”
I kept my voice low for fear of it cracking. “Do you remember what happened to you?”
Kost stilled. “Of course. But—”
“You almost died.” I stared at my hands. “All because I felt, expressed too much. I watched you grow sick. Stood by while purple bruises bloomed beneath your eyes and the skin cracked around your face. When the cough hit, I knew. I knew it was my fault.”
“Noc…”
Gripping my hands into fists, I shook my head. “You were my best friend. And then I was a royal ass for weeks. I never visited your bedside. I ignored your dying wishes. I did everything I could to remove my emotions from the equations. By the gods’ favor, you survived.”
“I don’t blame you.”
“You should. I still blame myself.”
Kost sighed. “That’s what worries me. If you get too involved with her, if you go too far… Noc, I…weneed you. The guild cannot survive without you.”
“I’m not going anywhere.” I leveled him with one look. “My devotion to the guild is all I have. All I can have. You know that as well as I do. It’s a nonissue.”
Kost dipped his chin to his chest, hiding his eyes from view. He hadn’t been there when my curse had claimed Amira. When I’d proclaimed my love to her and she to me, only to have her die in my arms a few days later, riddled with sickness, courtesy of the high priestess’s magic. He hadn’t been there when the magic claimed the lives of my brothers-in-arms on the battlefield. When I mistook their failing health for the plague and condemned many, so many, to death without even trying.
I’d become an assassin before I’d even died.
But Kost had seen me with Bowen. He’d watched as I fell in love again, only to have him ripped from my hands because of my own ignorance. His sickness—the same illness that Amira had exhibited—was the wakeup call. The thing that caused me to retrace the months, years, and examine the deaths of all those I cared about.
I’d nearly come undone. But Kost had been there. Had helped me reconstruct my walls and build a safe, if precarious existence. He’d somehow snuck through a crack in my defenses, though, and almostdiedbecause of it. Just then, the low swing of a heavy door opening overcame the scratching of tree leaves. Leena appeared alone, the Poi nowhere to be found. Ink scampered down her shoulder, receding back to the barren tree on her hand.
She pivoted to Kost. “Do you remember the Charmer’s Law?”
Kost didn’t blink. “Of course.”
“Of course you do.” Leena gritted her teeth. “As much as I don’t like you, that doesn’t mean you’ll be a bad owner. But I’ll be watching your every move. Got it?”
“I’d expect nothing less.”
