“That’s not what I meant.” He slipped out of his saddle and strode toward me. “I want you to be happy. We’ll find a way to make that happen. I promise.”
Frowning, I studied the slight tremor to his hands. I’d told him about the Gyss’s magic in passing—he knew of the risks and potential payoff. And yet…something about his unrelenting green gaze told me this was much deeper than a beast. A promise that, if this failed, he’d keep trying to fulfill.
Feeling swelled in my chest just as unease settled in my gut. I swore I saw a glimmer of darkness beneath his eyes. I had to rein myself in. Leena was already ill. I wouldn’t be able to handle it if he was, too. “What are you saying?”
He removed his glasses and stared at me without filter. Emotion flared behind his eyes, honest and, for once, unguarded. Love, pure and real. Pain, as deep and as dark as mine, and at once, I knew. I knew why he hated Leena—not her, but the thought of her. How long had he been silently suffering? Decades? Since the moment I set foot in Cruor?
I’d never once acknowledged his love. How cruel I was, even if it was better that I’d never said a word. Even if it had saved his life.
A fist wrung my heart. I cared for Kost in ways I was too scared to admit. I couldn’t condemn him to death. Again. And still, through it all, he’d been there. A silent partner. A constant shoulder that I couldn’t lean on, but offered just the same. Words faded, and I stood completely still.
I didn’t just need this curse gone for Leena. I needed it gone forhim. For Ozias and Calem. For me.
“Kost, I—”
“We’ll talk later.” He replaced his glasses and turned toward his mount. “You better catch up with Leena.”
“Yeah.” It was all I could muster, and it was impossibly lacking. A branch cracked in the distance, and I spurred into motion, tracking the imprints of Leena’s boots in the grass. Only when I was hidden within the safety of the forest did I dare expel my breath.
Kost. Leena.I was more monster than man, and I didn’t deserve either of them.
Moving quickly, I caught up to Leena and followed without uttering a word. She stiffened at my presence, but didn’t turn to check. She didn’t have to. There was an electric current between us, and it was impossible not to be aware of her.
I braved disturbing that connection first. “How do you know about Nepheste’s Ruins?”
She halted to take a breath before she continued forward. “Everyone born on this continent knows about the ruins.”
“About them, yes, but not where to find them.”
“Beasts talk. No one knows our world like Charmers do.” Quickening her stride, she leaped over a fallen tree covered in moss and miniscule magenta flowers. The forest watched us. Beady eyes gleamed from behind ferns and tree stumps, and soft calls questioned our approach. The deeper we got, the more insistent the sounds became. “Why do you ask?”
There it was. Affection. A desire to further understand, to learn more. It was small and repressed by pain, as if she was trying to stifle her own emotions, but the slight pique in her tone gave her away. I shouldn’t have been happy, but I was. I’d shut down entirely after she’d given herself to me. Thrust her out and left her alone to sift through the weight of my curse. It was wrong, and yet somehow it was the exact right thing to do. The only way I could have kept her alive. The contradiction burned me up inside.
Quieting my heart, I moved closer to her. “Curiosity. I suppose aside from Charmers, the only other beings aware of the ruins’ location are the royal family.” It was a rite of passage for the future king or queen to visit the sacred grounds before accepting the crown. The first mages of Wilheim were buried there. Returned to the earth in ruins forged by the gods. There, an ascending prince or princess received the world’s blessing.
“I suppose,” Leena said. Another unspoken question. This one, I couldn’t answer. My past was dangerous and buried with my former life—resurrecting it would invite war. Until I knew for certain the outcome of us, I couldn’t utter a word.
Without warning, Leena came to an abrupt stop. She rested her hand against the ivory bark of a lumina tree. Lilac leaves drooped low to the base, and blooming saffron-colored flowers opened to the night. Touching her chin to her shoulder, she cast a slow glance my direction. “We’re almost at the ruins. I need absolute stillness to attract a Gyss. If you can’t manage that, hide until after I tame her.”
“I can manage.”
She blinked, and tension melted from her shoulders. “Noc… Are you sure about this?”
My world came to a standstill. There was so much behind that small question. I wanted to tell her everything—from the truth behind why the curse was placed to the reason for the heavy ring on my finger. But what good would it do if this didn’t work? She deserved a life of happiness, and if she stayed with me, I’d never be able to provide that.
“Yes.”
She sighed. Her hand fell to her side, and she moved forward through the brush. Lumina trees dominated the space before us, their gargantuan roots intermingling with boulders and slabs of glistening black granite. Weeping strands of leaves kissed the ground, and Leena pushed them aside like a curtain, revealing a magical oasis.
The placid water of the lake glimmered in the low lavender light of dusk. Dusted-pink water lilies covered the surface, and the occasional ripple from a fish ghosted the water. It was said the gods had blessed five locations across our continent. Five sacred ruins carved from the heavens themselves. Staring at the altar resting in the middle of the lake on its lone island, I believed it. Pristine as the moon and lit the same, the structure glowed. The water around the island was pure mercury, a spectacular silver that bled into crystal blue the farther out it traveled.
A heartbeat pulsed from the ruins, and warmth spread through me, encouraging heat in places I hadn’t even realized were cold. Eyes burning, I braved a glance at Leena. Other than the quiet smile on her lips, she seemed unaffected.
A gong rang true and deep, like a mallet striking a chime, and a pleasant hum vibrated through every muscle in my body. Hairs along my arms rose skyward, and emotion swelled in my chest. I’d never felt so alive.
Blessed.
Was that it? I stared at the ruins, at the throbbing glow pouring from the slabs, and my heart slowed to match the pace. Cursed was an everyday predicament, a constant drag on the soul. But this? My gaze lingered on Leena’s back. Without knowing, she’d delivered a piece of my former life right back into my hands.
