She nodded. “Of course. Take care.”
“Dez.” I tried to push aside the simmering, reckless anger inside me. Logically, I knew he’d done nothing wrong. Leena had an entire life before she met me. But the oath made it all too easy to succumb to dark impulses, and I’d nearly attacked him for simply trying to protect Leena. “Sorry about earlier.”
He raised an incredulous brow. “Sure.”
Gait stiff, Dez retreated to Midnight Jester and closed the door, leaving us with a mess of bodies, two injured Charmers, and a drugged-out assassin-beast. I ran a heavy hand through my hair and sighed. The problems were mounting quicker than we had time to assess them.
As if sensing my heavy thoughts, Leena pressed close. Standing on her toes, she whispered into my ear, “One thing at a time.”
My chest hitched. With gentle fingers, I brushed the hair back from her face. It wasn’t just Calem I was worried about—it was me.Her.Because these deadly visions, coupled with the strange new voice, had to be the oath’s call getting stronger. Once we got Calem settled back at Cruor, I’d have to tell her, if only so she could protect herself from me.
Heart heavy, I sighed. “One thing at a time.”
Six
Leena
After returning to Cruor and bathing to get rid of the muck of blood and battle, I found myself in the library with Gaige and Kost. The familiar welcome of the room I’d grown to love was missing, replaced by a sense of foreboding I didn’t want to acknowledge. And while it was impossible not to feel small in a space that took up more than a quarter of the manor, I somehow felt microscopic. Defeated. Uncertain. I would’ve given all my bits to the mage for answers, and yet we were still here. Still searching.
Vaulted ceilings with curved walnut rafters and an endless maze of bookshelves stretched before Kost, Gaige, and me. The room was dry and warm, thanks to the crackling fire in its massive hearth, and smelled of cedarwood and books.
“This is impressive.” Gaige stepped around me to survey the space. Large oak tables with high-back chairs were nestled between the shelves. Tiered candlelight fixtures acted as centerpieces, and inkwells with blank scrolls of parchment and quills were neatly organized for use.
“I’ve read just about everything in here. I can point you in the right direction if you’re looking for something specific.” Kost wandered over to the first shelf, trailing his hand along dusty spines of varying colors. “Though I haven’t gotten around to this one.”
He extracted a tome nearly as thick as his waist and set it with a definitive thud on the table.A Brief History of Wilheimin archaic, bold font caught the light.
Gaige raised a brow. “So much for brief.”
Kost hummed. “My thoughts exactly.”
“What are we looking for, again?” I followed behind them and acted as a cart while they loaded tome after tome into my open arms. Kost paused and snared a handful of tied-off parchment bundles. He neatly added them to our growing pile before hooking a right down an offshoot aisle with even more books.
“Gaige traded for access to these texts, so I suppose whatever he wants.” He glanced over his shoulder at Gaige, who was debating between two texts. After a shrug, he tucked both beneath his arm and rejoined us. “As for you and me, we’re looking for information that might pertain to Noc’s oath.”
“I haven’t been able to find anything yet.” I shifted the weight of the books against my chest.
“Me neither.” Kost started to layer even more tomes into his own arms. “I’m hoping there’s something I’ve missed over the years.”
Gaige peered over the thick binding of a book etched with green lettering. “This might prove interesting.” He ran a light finger over the title:Zane and the Fallen Leaders. A flare of magic sparked beneath his touch, sending a green ember into the air.
Kost smiled. “That’s a special book. More alive than not. It changes to keep record of Cruors’ doings. We couldn’t alter it if we tried.”
Gaige’s eyes went wide. “Fascinating.”
Kost nodded before refocusing on our overflowing arms. “I think we have enough to start with.” Leading us back to a table, he organized the texts by year and relevancy, mumbling quietly to himself as he pondered which tome to study first. Gaige followed Kost’s lead and took the chair at the head of the table, fingers snaggingZane and the Fallen Leaders.
Silence, save the occasional whisper of parchment scraping together, dominated the room. Even the low-burning fire hardly popped. I sank into a nearby chair with tufted arms and an ottoman, but I couldn’t bring myself to read the tome before me. Not with Calem slumbering on a medical cot upstairs.
Noc and Oz had taken him there upon our return, and they still hadn’t shown their faces. I could’ve gone to the medical wing. Pushed open the heavy double doors and taken a seat by Calem’s side. But the sight of my friend as a raging monster burned in my mind, and I couldn’t help but feel guilty.Responsible.And so I avoided the wing altogether, first taking a long bath, then simply standing in my bedroom with the hope that Noc would come and find me. But he didn’t, and an idle mind only made things worse. So, I’d changed and found Kost and Gaige, insisting we follow through with Noc’s request.
But now that I was here, with too much knowledge and no idea where to start, the whole damned thing felt pointless. A wave of cold rushed over me, and I brought my fingers to my lips as the walls of the library threatened to close in.
“Leena.”
I startled, nearly falling out of the chair, and looked up to see Gaige crouching before me. Kost tore his gaze away from his text to watch.
My voice cracked. “Yes?”
