My heart gave a pitiful thud. Not a single soldier had survived the plague. Priests and priestesses were brought in, and still no one could get a grip on the sickness rampaging through my camp. And while I couldn’t possibly be held responsible for something as uncontrollable as this, I couldn’t help but blame myself. This entire war was because of me. Because I’d fallen in love with a Rhyne princess and slighted the High Priestess. Her curse had killed my love, and yet Amira’s parents hadn’t believed me. No one believed me. Even now, when the battles were done and men crowded around fires with ales in their hands, there were whispers. Frustrations. They had all believed my claim once. But too much death had soured their perceptions. I didn’t blame them—curses were rare and hardly left proof. Whether or not I had ended Amira’s life, I was responsible for her death.
“Hey, stop that.” Thaleus wrenched his hand free to place it gently on my forearm. “I can see those wheels turning. This isn’t your fault. I’ll be fine by morning, just you wait. Now, get out of here. You don’t need to see,”—he winced as a piercing shriek split the air—“or hear any of this.”
“Thaleus…” Words failed to form, and my chest tightened. What would I do once he was gone? Who would I joke with or share ales with or let myself justbewith? No one wanted to brush elbows with the prince who started it all. If I were in their shoes, fighting a war I didn’t understand, I’d be hesitant to rally to my side too.
Go home.I clenched my jaw tight. Returning to Wilheim and the safety of my castle would only cause more discord. I needed to be here, fighting with them. Not commanding from afar.
I owed them all so much.
“Go on. I need to sleep.” He slapped my arm with a slackening hand that lacked any semblance of strength.
I turned without another word and slipped through the tent. My heart was as heavy as the deadweight of each body I passed. When I stepped out into the camp, I gulped down air…and fled. Broke into a sprint and ran toward the fringes of our settlement, ignoring the pensive stares of my royal guard as they decided whether to follow. I prayed they didn’t. I needed space. Room to breathe. And so did my men. They needed time away fromme, time to vent their frustrations and speak their minds without fear of the royal house coming down on them. There was too much death hanging low over us all.
I didn’t know how long I ran, only that I did until the sounds of camp faded in the distance. Slumping to the ground, I worked muck and grime between my fingers as I sought for a grip on reality. And then I crumbled. Because I knew. I knew Thaleus wouldn’t make it. I knew this war, all this death, was on me. No matter what lies I told myself, this wasmydoing. A sob cracked my chest, and I held my head in my hands. Thaleus wasn’t the first brother or sister I’d lost over the years. There was Helena. Broderick. Parvis. Amira… So many more. There was no solace to be found, but at least it was quiet out here. At least there were no whispers or false smiles. At least death was stuck in that gods-awful white tent.
Hours ticked by until the faint light of dusk claimed the sky and the first brave stars dotted the horizon. Behind me, someone cleared their throat.
I jumped to my feet and reached for the small blade I kept at my hip.
Kostya eyed my weapon. “Decent reflexes, though it would’ve helped had you known I was here to begin with.”
My hand wavered. “I heard you approach.”
Kostya sighed. “Because I alerted you to my presence. How long do you think I’d been waiting?”
Everything left me in a rush, and my shoulders slumped. I didn’t care if he’d been there since the beginning. Running a hand through my hair, I gave him a weary glance. “Sorry I took off like that. You’re free to leave if you’d like.”
Kostya studied me for a long moment before removing his glasses. Slowly, he pulled a cloth from his breast pocket and began polishing the lenses. “What’s wrong?”
“What’s wrong?” I barked out a harsh laugh. As if it wasn’t glaringly obvious.
“Something is troubling you.” Kostya replaced his glasses.
Giving way to absurdity, I tossed my hands to the sky in exasperation. “Of course something is troubling me. Were you not there today? Didn’t you see the battlefield? How many people, on both sides, had to die for this endless fight?” I started to pace, acutely aware of the way his gaze tracked my progression. “I’ve tried to negotiate with Rhyne. I’ve tried to explain what happened to their princess. I’ve tried everything I can think of to bring this to an end, and nothing is working.
“And what’s worse is that my men are paying the price. If they’re not dying with a sword in hand, they’re dying with their backs on a cot, courtesy of a plague no one can cure. It might look like Lendria is winning, but everywhere I turn, we are losingeverything.”
Kostya was silent for a long breath, as if waiting to see whether I’d continue. Only when I finally came to a stop did he fold his arms across his chest. “You said you’ve tried everything?”
“Yes. Everything.”
“And you’re sure about that?” His harsh green eyes softened before he looked away to the night sky.
The raging pulse that had been building inside me quieted. “What are you saying?”
Kostya cleared his throat. “What does Rhyne want? All wars boil down to what one side desires but isn’t getting.”
“Vengeance, I suppose.” I went to slip my hands into the pockets of my trousers but failed. I hadn’t even had time to toss aside my armor. The metal gauntlets covering my fingers scraped against my plated thighs.
With a deliberate slowness, Kostya dragged his gaze back to mine. “Specifics matter. Whatexactlydo they want?”
It didn’t take long for me to answer. “Me. They want me.”
Kostya said nothing, but his stare was so damning I had to fight to keep my chin held high. Shadows started to fester in the space around him, and he dipped his hands into the abyss. Onyx tendrils pooled in his palms before spilling out between his fingers. “Then you haven’t triedeverything.”
“What you’re suggesting is out of the question.” We’d lost so many soldiers over the years. Simply giving in now would mean their deaths were in vain. They’d fought for me, believed in me. To simply give my life over to the enemy…
“I’m not suggesting anything. I’m merely stating a fact.” With that gut punch, his shadows darkened, and he added, “I’ll be going now, Prince Aleksander. I wish you luck with your never-ending war.”
