Oz looked up from the fire. “You hungry? I can throw something together.”
“Thanks, but I don’t really have an appetite. I’m calling it a night.” Peeling open the tent flaps, I went inside and set about the task of arranging the hides and blankets for my makeshift bed. After changing into my nightclothes, I fell into the bed in a huff and stared up at the faded-green canvas. Aside from the crackling fire and the occasional shuffle from Oz as he moved about, I heard nothing.
Time moved slowly as I waited for Noc to return. I envisioned him sweeping into the tent, the perfect picture of remorse as he apologized for leaving me high and dry, and then diving into the story of his past. Or filling me in about whatever secrets he and Kost kept.Anything. Anything to make these false promises ring true.
But as the hours passed, nothing changed, and I was forced to fall asleep alone and angry.
* * *
When I awoke the next morning, the blankets beside me were cool, as if they’d never been occupied. I quickly changed and emerged from the tent to find the men had been busy. Everything, save my sleeping arrangements, had already been packed. The Zeelahs, readied. Oz greeted me with a smile and breakfast—cooling coffee, a hunk of bread, and dried fruit. Kost nodded a hello and then immediately started to break down my tent.
Noc stood by and watched it all. His gaze flicked to me for a moment, and his shoulders slumped. Just a fraction. Then he pressed a chaste kiss on the top of my head before turning away to help Kost.
Anger simmered deep in my gut. How could he not see the damage he was doing by keeping me in the dark? Brushing away the crumbs of breakfast on my breeches, I headed for my Zeelah. The next time I got Noc alone, I would force him to talk. Even if it meant summoning Iky to hold him in place so he couldn’t disappear on me.
We rode hard for hours, but even the rub of the saddle against my legs didn’t chafe like the tense silence that stretched between Noc and me. At one point, he nudged his mount faster so he could ride beside Kost instead of me.
“How are you feeling?” Kost murmured, his words barely audible. I leaned forward, straining to hear their muted conversation.
“I’m managing,” Noc said. His rigid spine suggested otherwise. “I’m thinking…feelingthings that aren’t real.” He seemed to choke out the words, then shook his head. “We can talk later. I don’t want anyone to worry.”
Feeling things?What did that mean? Before I could interject, he pushed his steed into a faster trot, putting distance between us. Kost rode after him, glancing in my direction before saying something I couldn’t hear.
I gripped the reins until my knuckles burned. “Oz.”
“Yeah?” He shifted in his saddle, angling toward me. Muscles bulged in the tight fit of his wool-lined coat, and he placed a thick hand on his thigh.
“What’s going on with those two?” I jerked my chin in the direction of Kost and Noc without breaking Oz’s stare.
His brows inched together. “I’m not sure. There’s so much happening, I don’t even know where to start.”
My throat tightened. “I know. It’s a lot.” I let loose a sigh, and my hands relaxed a fraction. “I’m sorry, Oz. I haven’t even thought to ask how you’re managing through all this.”
“Me?”
“Yes, you.” I tangled my fingers in the chain of my bestiary. It was always Oz and Calem. Together. Bantering, joking, keeping things light. His brother was wounded and suffering.No, two of his brothers.My gaze skipped to Noc’s back.
Oz rolled his head from side to side, stretching his neck. “I’m managing. Calem usually helps me with the new recruits. It’s…quiet without him around. He’s fine, though. He’ll pull through.” I wasn’t sure if he was convincing himself or me. “It’s Noc I’m most worried about.”
“Me too.”
Ahead of us, Kost stiffened and kicked his stallion into a full-blown gallop, leaving an exasperated Noc in his wake. Running his fingers through his hair, he yanked his Zeelah off to the side and waited for Oz and me to catch up.
“Everything good?” I asked when my mount fell into step beside his.
“We should make camp soon.” Noc gritted his teeth. “He’s scouting to make sure the route is safe.”
“Is that all?” Oz didn’t hide his suspicion, and I sent a silent prayer of thanks that I wasn’t the only one frustrated by Noc’s secrecy.
“He doesn’t think I should be on this expedition.” Gaze level, he continued to stare ahead without turning to face us. “He worries I’m not mentally…sound.”
Was that it? Kost’s frustrations felt deeper, steeped in history that I couldn’t dream of touching.
Noc fished a canteen from one of his saddlebags and took a quick swig before passing it to me. His fingers grazed mine for a moment, and their icy familiarity eased some of my frustration. He’d said the oath was easier controlled with my presence. Maybe that was the cause of his ever-shifting mood. Still, I craved to hear it from him rather than be left to my own assumptions. Mineral water slicked over my tongue, and I swallowed hard. Twisting the cap back in place, I returned the canteen to Noc.
“Do you think he’s right?” I asked. In the distance, Kost’s silhouette waited for us on a rounded hilltop. Rolling dark clouds churned and rumbled, flashes of white light streaking across indigo swells.
Noc studied the sky while letting out a low hum. “I’m not sure.”
