“Thanks.” Leena extended her hand, and the beast realm welcomed Tok home. Her fingers immediately went to her bestiary, and she stroked the pendant. No doubt eager to read about her newest addition.
Kost swung his leg over his Zeelah and righted himself in the saddle. “There’s a small trading town a few days to the east of here. Let’s travel quickly. The nights are getting colder, and we’ve got to think about what it will take to get to Silvis’s Ruins.”
Leena’s fingers paused. “I’m not sure I follow.”
A ghostly chill raced over my skin. “It means we’ll have to pass through Wilheim.”
Three pairs of eyes rounded on me. There was no other way to get to the ruins. We were close to the ocean here, and the trading town would provide temporary lodging, but there were no docks or easy places to land along the mountainous coast of Glacial Springs. Perpetually lost in snow, the freezing range would be devastating to try to pass during the winter months, which left one point of entry: Wilheim. Through the dangerous walls under constant watch of Sentinels. Through the back alleys of the city with a thousand lights. Our shadows didn’t stand a chance.
Kost grimaced. “Exactly. We’ve ventured through the city once before undetected, but now…” His gaze pointedly slid to my ring. “Your glamour isn’t exactly holding up like it used to.”
“I know.” I flexed my hand. “But it’s the only way.”
He adjusted his glasses and gave a tight nod. “We’ll keep a low profile and blend in with the locals. Draw as little attention as possible.”
“Agreed.” Swallowing the rock in my throat, I hoisted myself onto my Zeelah and steeled my churning gut. One way or another, we’d get to Silvis’s Ruins. We’d remove this oath. And then we’d be on with our lives away from the people of Wilheim.
But as we rode away from Oslo’s Ruins, disappointment not entirely my own threaded through my gut, and the vision of a hissing snake flooded my mind. Zane was far from pleased with my desire to cast away the crown. Regardless, his blood would never have the chance of returning to the throne if we didn’t make it out of Wilheim alive.
Seventeen
Calem
The ceiling in Kaori’s quarters was the lightest shade of blue. I suppose it was painted that way to inspire a sort of tranquility, but considering I’d gotten overly familiar with it after having my ass handed to me time and time again, it didn’t really have that effect on me. Wincing, I sat up on the cool tile and rubbed my lower back. Pain flared beneath my fingertips. Kaori had stiff-armed me, and she still held her pose as she determined whether I’d retaliate. In her flowy pants and loose camisole, she looked liable to be carried away by a strong breeze. But I knew just how sturdy that stance was. How she grounded herself and made it nearly impossible to take her down. Ozias would be impressed. Hell, I certainly was.
“Good,” she said as her arms relaxed and fell to her sides. “It seems losing no longer triggers your anger like it used to.”
“I didn’t lose,” I said. Heat simmered just beneath the surface of my skin at her insinuation, threatening to spill over and drown my senses. With a steadying breath, I pushed it away and met her cool gaze. I still hadn’t figured out how to read her. How to decipher exactly what was going on in those dark eyes. Ever since I’d woken up in Hireath, I’d spent nearly every moment training with her. Still, nothing.
“You’re the one on the ground. Not me.”
“We both know that if I’d used the shadows, that wouldn’t be the case.”
“Using the shadows teaches you nothing.” She turned to the creamy chaise longue behind her. The previous one was a deep blue, but I’d destroyed that by accident during our first session. She scooped up an off-white sweater that fell to her knees and slipped her arms through it. “You already know how to control those. Your temper, on the other hand… Not so much.”
My bones creaked as I stood. We’d been at this for days. When she’d first recommended sparring as a way to subdue the beast within me, I couldn’t have been more excited. And a bit reserved, if truth be told. I never was any good at holding back, and I didn’t want to hurt her. But none of that mattered. She’d put me in my place within five minutes and had been doing so ever since.
The first few times, I’d snapped immediately, shifting into the monster I still didn’t fully understand. And I was never in control. The transition was violent—immediate—and it was as if I were suspended above my body, watching the horror unfold. I couldn’t calm myself down. Couldn’t keep myself from gouging the tile with my swordlike claws. I screamed at myself to stop, but my voice was always silent. Just…gone. Kaori never flinched. She’d simply wait for me to strike. And I always did.Always. I’d lunge at her without thought or care, and she’d deftly avoid my attack. Again and again she’d dodge until I’d burned through my anger and my body changed back in a trembling heap.
She crossed the room to stand before me and gently touched my chin, tilting my head left and right. She frowned as she studied whatever it was she saw in my gaze. “An hour of meditation, and then we’ll start again.”
“What?” I moaned, pulling away from her grip. “That doesn’t help me at all.”
“One hour.” She made her way for the door, then paused as she gripped the smooth, silver handle. “All forms of training are equally important. We can’t always let our beasts out, so we must also learn how to calm them.” There was a faint hint of a smile there as she added, “You can do this, Calem.”
With that, she exited her quarters and locked the door behind her with a definitive click.
“For gods’ sake.” I dragged my hand over my face. Grumbling, I snagged an oversize, indigo pillow from the ornate bed on the far side of the room and dropped it on the floor. A quiet chuckle escaped my lips. Strange to think I’d spent all this time in her quarters and the only thought I had when looking at her bed was for sleep. With her constant drills and mental training, I’d barely had time to think of anything else.
For a moment, I ignored the pillow and instead glanced around. Kaori was just as organized as Kost. There wasn’t a single item out of place. No clutter or trinkets taking up space on her open shelving. Minimalist furniture, not a speck of dust anywhere. Part of me wondered if it was yet another tactic to keep her beast controlled. If that were the case, I’d be in trouble. I edged toward the tall windows, damning pillow still visible in my peripheral vision. I wanted togo outside. To explore. Meditation was…boring.
But necessary.I scoffed and tipped my head back to the ceiling. My voice or hers? These days, I couldn’t be sure. When had my conscience been so loud? I couldn’t help but sulk as I returned to the pillow.
Sitting, I crossed my legs and placed my hands palms up on my knees. Closed my eyes and slowed my breathing.
Okay, so there’s this ball of energy. No, that’s not right.My fingers twitched. During my previous meditation sessions, Kaori had remained with me and guided me through the process with a soothing, peaceful message. But without her watchful eye, it was nearly impossible to focus.
Oh, yeah. A mist! It was a mist. I’m surrounding by this gentle mist, and every time I breathe it in,I… I shifted in place. Peeled one eye open.Keep your eyes shut, dammit.Forcing back a growl, I pressed my eyes closed as hard as I could. Focused only on my breath as it moved through my body. Listened to the steady, rhythmic sound of the waterfall crashing outside her windows.
