“Please,” Calem begged from a few feet away. “Raise her. If she dies… I can’t…” He choked back a sob. With shaky hands, he fished his bronze key out of his pocket and summoned Effie. “Can you help?”
She flew over Leena, dusting both her and Kost in a shimmery coat of magic, but nothing changed. Leena didn’t move, and Kost kept working. Effie landed back beside Calem with a sorrowful coo, and he crumpled.
What do I do?All my life I’d been selfish. I’d been selfish as a prince, and it had cost Amira her life. I’d been selfish with Bowen, and I’d been selfish with my guild. With the Gyss’s wish. And now…
Again, Kost breathed for her. One breath. Two. Nothing.
Oz stared at her, eyes glassy. “I say we raise her. Let her be mad at us. I’ll take that over this.”
“Noc.” Kost’s voice was pleading. He kept compressing, but his hands were starting to shake. “What do we do?”
Not we. Me. My fault. My decision.
Leena’s somber voice echoed through my mind.“It’s not just my life, it’s my beasts’. If those shadows permeate every facet of your life, what would they do to the realm?”I didn’t know. Couldn’t possibly know. But if I condemned her beloved beasts to a world of darkness, if she couldn’t see them anymore…she’d never forgive me.
When Kost went to breathe for her, I stopped him. “Let me.” I wasn’t ready to give up yet. Because once we stopped compressions, once we stopped breathing for her… It wasn’t the way I wanted her to go, but I wouldn’t strip her of her choice. No matter how much it’d hurt all of us.
“I’m so sorry,” I whispered against her lips before forcing breath into her lungs. I prayed she had enough fight left in her to grab it tight, but if she didn’t… Tears slid down my chin and dropped against her. I’d have to let her go.
Resting my forehead against hers, I closed my eyes and prayed the gods would forgive me, because I knew I’d never forgive myself. She was sostill. She’d filled me—all of us—with so much life. And now…nothing. I so desperately wished I could feel her breath against me. Hear the beat of her heart. But the pained sobs of Oz and Calem drowned out everything.
And then a startled noise escaped the back of Kost’s throat.
Shaky fingers traced the scar along my cheek. “Noc.” My eyes flew open and there she was. Breathing ragged and uneven, but there was faint color to her cheeks. A sheen across her hazel gaze.
Pure, unfiltered joy surged through me as a primal shout ripped through my lungs. Alive. She wasalive.
“Leena.” I wrapped her fingers in my hands and pressed a shaking kiss to her knuckles. “Thank the gods. I thought I’d lost you.”
“Not…yet.” She coughed and then winced, a weak hand fluttering to her side. Kost had moved off her, leaving her wound exposed. He stripped his tattered shirt off in an instant and pressed it tight against her. A sharp hiss escaped her lips.
That sound made me recoil. I’d done so much damage. If not for me, she wouldn’t have died. Calem wouldn’t have gone half-feral, accidentally ripping into her flesh. He was still cringing just out of reach, his head in his hands.
So much damage.
“Hey.” Her words were raspy. Damning. Still, I met her gaze. “Don’t do that.”
“Do what?”
She reached for me, and I hesitated. Her fingers twitched. “That.” Slowly, strength came back to her voice, and she cleared her throat. “Don’t pull away from me.”
Something in me broke. “Leena, what I did—”
“Was out of your control.” She gestured for Kost to help her sit, and he obliged. She winced, pressing her hand on top of his to hold the fabric against her wound. I moved to help and let her lean against me. A tired hum reverberated from her rib cage against my chest. Oz sidled in on her free side and held her hand. She gave him a tight squeeze and smile.
After a steady breath, she looked up at me. “It was the oath, Noc. You weren’t in control, just as I wasn’t when Wynn charmed me.” She tilted her head to the side, rounding her gaze on Calem and Effie. He’d dropped his hands, but his eyes were locked on the bloody tunic covering her wound. “Calem? What’s wrong?”
Calem swallowed thickly. “I did that to you.”
Leena glanced between him and her wound. “Not on purpose.”
“No, definitely not.” He raked his hands through his hair. “I…I was trying to protect you. But I lost control.”
Leena managed to roll her eyes. “So just like Noc. Like me. Calem, it’s not your fault. I’ll be okay.”
“Are you sure?” His watery gaze mirrored everything I felt inside, and I snuck a hand around Leena’s waist and held her tight.
“Yes. If you start blaming yourself for this, you’re no better than I was after you died.” Slowly, she rounded her gaze on me. “Same goes for you.”
