His brow twitched. “And Leena’s. And Kost’s.”
“Yes.”
No one spoke. No one moved. The only sound aside from our hitched breaths was the near-silent hum of the rycrim heater in the corner. Something Leena likely wouldn’t have noticed, but Gaige, butus… Shadows slithered in my peripheral vision, snaking between the rafters and curling around the foot of the bed. They were always just a thought away from being summoned. He’d see them now, too. He jerked his head to the side, as if trying to study them head on. His breath came quickly then, and he sat up, tearing his hand away from Kost. Leena inhaled sharply.
The jeweled color to his emblem was gone. Instead, the tree looked as if it’d been etched with graphite, complete with smeared edges. Worse, it was barren. There were no leaves, no flowering vines. No life at all. Slowly, he lifted his hand and finally looked at the damage I’d caused by bringing him back.
“No.” His voice cracked. He thrust his hand forward. Muscles bulged along his forearm, and a cry wrenched free of his chest. Tears gathered in his eyes. Try as he might, nothing happened. There was no rush of citrine light, no groaning hinges. The beast realm door remained shut.
Kost reached for him. “Gaige, I’m the one—”
“No!” His shriek rattled my bones. The shadows reacted to his sudden influx of emotions and flared to life around him. I dropped my gaze. I’d hoped he would’ve been able to access the realm, that Leena’s inability to do so was simply because she hadn’t been raised. But now, her fears were confirmed. Our shadows took overeverything.
Gaige stared in horror at his own hand, fingers shaking uncontrollably. “What have you done?”
And then, as if nearly erasing his symbol wasn’t cruel enough, a sharp sizzling sounded from the bestiary around his neck. An invisible flame seemed to eat away at the book, and the cover turned black before crumbling to ashes, leaving nothing more than a smear on his skin where it used to be. The chain fell into his lap.
The horrified cry that escaped Gaige nearly broke me in two. Silent tears bisected Leena’s cheeks, and she burrowed her head into my chest. Her fingers dug into my sides as she gripped me tight. After witnessing this, there was no way she’d ever agree to be raised now. And I couldn’t blame her.
“You died. I couldn’t… I…” Kost failed to find words. He stood and took a small step back, face carefully blank but green eyes full of uncertainty. Of guilt.
“They’re gone. I can’t… I can’t feel them anymore.” Gaige sobbed. His hand fell into his lap. A slow finger traced his faded emblem. He halted on one of the branches that still had just a small sliver of life. A tiny flower, barely hanging on. With a gasp, he jumped out of bed and searched the room, stilling when his gaze landed on Okean.
The legendary feline hadn’t moved since I’d started. Cautiously, he stepped toward his master. Then sniffed. His hackles stood on end as he inhaled a few errant shadows. Gaige sank to his knees and offered Okean the back of his hand.
“It’s me,” he whispered. “I’m still me.” His voice cracked, as though even he couldn’t believe it. His trembling fingers hung suspended before his beast. Seconds crawled by, and Gaige’s hitched breaths came hard and fast.
Okean peeled back his maw, teeth glistening.
Squeezing his eyes shut, Gaige placed his hand on Okean’s snout. I had no ties to Celeste, the goddess of beasts, but in that moment, I prayed to her. I begged her to let Gaige have this, at least. Let Okean remember him. Let him have just a piece of his former life. Because if he couldn’t… If his beast rejected him…then I had no doubt he’d walk away from this life for good.
Okean inhaled deeply again, and slowly, the tightly coiled muscles beneath his hide loosened. Finally, he pushed past Gaige’s hand and rammed his head into his chest. He let out a deep purr as he tried to climb into his master’s lap.
“Thank Celeste,” Gaige cried, wrapping Okean in a hug.
Leena broke away from me to take a few careful steps toward Gaige. She touched his shoulder, and he flinched. “I gave them permission. We wanted you to have a choice.”
He swallowed thickly. Something fierce flashed through his eyes. “Youmade a choice for me. I had no say in the matter.”
“But you have one now.” She lowered her lashes. “Gaige, I…I’d understand if you didn’t want to live this life. I’d support your decision, no matter what anyone else might say.” She didn’t look toward Kost, but he flinched just the same. Kneeling, she took Gaige’s hands in hers. “And I’d take care of Okean. I promise.”
He looked at her then. So much understanding flowed between them that it almost felt wrong for Kost and me to be there. Kost glanced my way, spine rigid. Since Gaige had brushed him off, he’d turned to ice. He was still waiting, still expecting Gaige to turn his back on this life. At any moment, Kost would crack. Unless we could convince Gaige to stay.
Leena ran light fingers over Okean’s hide, pausing when she grazed the shallow wounds left from the Gigloam. “If you choose to stay, I can give you a key. I’ll take him like I did with Dominus. The beast realm will heal him, and then I’ll return him to you. He’ll be safe, and you can still see him since the magic is tied to the key and not…you.”
His chest heaved. For a long moment, all he did was stare at his beast. Voice rough, he whispered, “Okay.”
Rosewood light bloomed from her hand, and Okean looked between her and Gaige. A soft mewl, like a question, sounded from his throat.
Gaige nodded. “It’s only for a little bit. I promise.”
The rosewood light sharpened, and the groaning of the beast realm door rumbled through the air. Gaige winced at the sound and turned, letting his arms fall away from Okean. Leena bit her lip but continued to focus her power on the legendary feline. Finally, he sighed. And just like that, the last remaining flower bud on Gaige’s emblem disappeared. A strangled sound escaped his throat, but he nodded anyway. A picture of strength so Okean would go with Leena.
Together, they disappeared into the beast realm, leaving Gaige alone with me and Kost. Silence stretched between us. Kost still refused to move. The weight of what we’d done, of the suffering we’d caused, settled heavily over us. Slowly, I crossed the room and offered Gaige my hand, just like Talmage had done after raising me. Gaige studied it a moment before standing, ignoring my gesture altogether.
“You should’ve let me die.”
I let my hand fall to my side. “If that’s what you want, then I can arrange for it to happen.”
