“When do we approach her?”
“The celebration will start at sundown,” Kost said. “In the meantime, we’ll continue to survey the city from the shadows and plan for quick exits in case we need to escape.”
A chill swept down my spine. “Is that likely?”
Noc shrugged. “There’s no way to know until we try. Rhyne has had no contact whatsoever with Lendria since my death. At least not from the royal family. The number of tourists between our countries has slowly climbed over the years, apparently.” He tilted his chin Kost’s direction, who nodded his agreement. “Our accents might give us away, but it shouldn’t be a problem.”
“Like with Isla,” Oz muttered.
Calem raised a playful brow. “Plans on reconnecting with your lovely escort?”
“No.” His chin dipped toward his chest and he averted his eyes.
Before Calem could goad him further, Noc shot him a stern look and cleared his throat. “Reconnaissance. Four hours, starting now.”
Calem groaned, but stood up from the table without hesitation. Cracking his neck, he gave us a parting devilish grin before slipping out the front door and then presumably disappearing into the shadows. Noc only rolled his eyes, then turned his attention to Oz. “Go with him. Don’t let him get into trouble until after we’ve had our audience with the queen.”
Oz let out a belabored sigh, but there was a hint of warmth to it that suggested he didn’t really find it troubling to look after his rambunctious brother. “Can do.”
“And,” Kost interjected, “be sure to drag him back with plenty of time to change and prepare for the evening. Formal attire is required. We must abide by every custom to gain as much favor as possible.”
“Whatever works.” Oz smiled and gave a lazy wave before weaving around the tables and heading out the door.
Kost tracked him until he’d disappeared, and then he deflated. Sinking into his chair, he rested his lifeless hands on the table before him. His carefully constructed expression of control slipped away, and his faraway gaze targeted an indistinct spot on the floor. I glanced at Noc, asking a silent question, and he pressed his lips together.
“Kost.” His voice was soft. Gentle.
“I’m fine.”
“No, you’re not. You haven’t said a word about Gaige since we arrived.”
Kost winced. “There’s nothing to report. I’ve shadow walked to Hireath at least twice a day since the…incident. There have been no signs of him.”
If it were possible, he somehow shrank further away from us. My heart ached at the sight, and I reached across the table to wrap his hands in mine. He remained still, but finally raised his chin to meet my eyes.
“This isn’t your fault.”
“But it is.” His voice wavered, and his fingers started to tremble. He swallowed several times, as if even coming up with the words to articulate what happened was agony. Finally, he shook his head once. Let loose a shaky breath. “Calem was right about me. I’m too cold. When Gaige tried to confide in me… I just threw my life experiences at him. I didn’tlisten. And then he just walked away and never came back. I did this. I’m the reason he’s gone.” He withdrew one of his hands to slip his fingers beneath his glasses and obscure his face, but nothing could hide the muffled, broken exhale that escaped his mouth.
He was carrying so much guilt. Giving his hand a tight squeeze, I implored him to feel every ounce of love I had for him. Our hard-won relationship had gone through so much before we trusted each other. Cared for each other. My life would never be complete without Kost—without any of my assassins, really. And I needed him to know that I would always be there for him. We all would.
“Gaige is a grown man. He’s going through a lot, but don’t for one second blame yourself for this.” I ducked my head lower, trying to keep Kost’s eyes in my line of sight. “Even if he walked away from you because of that conversation, that doesn’t mean his disappearance is your fault. We don’t know what happened beyond that.”
Noc placed a hand on his brother’s back. Then, he pulled Kost into a one-armed hug. Kost slumped into him as a wordless sob shook his entire body. Noc shouldered it all. Even tilted his head against Kost’s, ensuring Kost had warmth, love, from every angle possible. For a long while, we simply sat and waited, allowing Kost to let loose his feelings without ever saying a word. And when he finally pulled away, eyes red-rimmed and puffy, his jaw was set. Gaze hard. Determination flitted through his expression, and he straightened himself while running his hands down his vest to smooth any wrinkles.
“I will find him.”
With a soft smile, I nodded. “I know you will.”
“Right.” He cleared his throat and stood up, hips already pivoted toward the spiral staircase leading to the second story. “I’m going to collect myself and then begin reconnaissance. What will you two do?”
Noc glanced at me, concern evident in the weighted look we shared, and I knew he wanted to stay with Kost. But he didn’t want to abandon me, either, given I hadn’t set foot outside the tavern. Yet, right now, I didn’t need him like Kost did. Even if nothing else was said, I knew just how important being surrounded by family was, how healing it could be.
“Actually, I need to spend some time in the beast realm. After that, I should probably rest up. I’m still feeling a bit tired, and I’d rather be prepared in case we run into any problems later on.”
Kost gave a curt nod.
Noc leaned in and claimed my lips with a soft kiss. “Until this evening, then.”
