“The box?”
“No, the thought of Charmers still being out there.” Raven straightened and then brushed her hands along her faded-brown coat. “Kaori’s always been tight-lipped about her past. I’m not entirely sure why this is triggering her.”
My eyes narrowed a hair. Raven was skilled at masking her emotions, but not perfect. I could see the concern lingering in her gaze, too. The way she kept flexing her hands and twisting her neck as if it were aching. No one liked the idea of their family being held captive. If anyone from Cruor, even one of the newer recruits I’d barely gotten to know, had been captured, I doubted there was any force in this world that could stop me from going after them. Rounding the table, I placed a hand on her arm. She eyed the shadows that lingered on her skin.
“Come on. Let’s see how the assassins are doing with their drills. Probably better than you, considering you’re not out there.”
She huffed and batted away my hand, tendrils dispersing and re-forming. Her cold stare warmed. “Whatever.”
I chuckled as we left the keep, making our way toward the still-training troops. It was easy with Raven, just as it had been with Leena. I wasn’t entirely sure why. Was it their Charmer’s lure? Or was it because they’d never expressed a desire for something more with me? My thoughts rewound to Zara, a budding recruit I’d trained not long ago. She wasn’t much of a fighter, instead choosing to spend her days painting and helping out around Cruor, but I hadn’t forgotten how she’d attempted to flirt with me. How one moment I’d been in complete control of my thoughts and words and the next…nothing.
“What’s going on in that brain of yours?” Raven asked, poking my side and sending my shadows outward in a flurry. The sudden disturbance was enough to bring me out of my reverie.
“Oh, nothing.”
She cocked her head. “Sure. You know, it’s okay for you to have problems, too. You don’t always have to take care of us.” She gestured widely to include all the assassins training on the lawns. Even some of the Charmers who’d elected to participate along with them.
I could’ve deflected. Could’ve shifted the conversation to Eilan and her grief—the one thing she never discussed—but I knew she’d come to me in time. And I didn’t want to close that door before it opened, because what good would that do? How could I comfort someone who didn’t want it? So instead, I sighed. Looking out over the assassins and Charmers, I paused when I found Zara lingering at the mouth of the communal tent. She was locked in an animated conversation with another assassin, hands waving about her body.
I looked away. “It’s not a problem. Not really.”
“Spill.” Raven positioned herself in front of me and leaned forward with her hands on her hips. “You’re not leaving until I hear what’s bothering you.”
A memory of Isla surfaced in my mind. To the swish of her blond hair as she turned her back on me after yet another dumb comment. Heat flushed to my cheeks.Botherwas hardly the word I’d use. “It’s this…woman.”
Raven raised a brow. “And?”
“And I don’t know how to talk to her,” I said in a rush. “Anyone, really. Aside from you and Leena. I get all tongue-tied.”
She pursed her lips together in thought, but there was a glint of mirth to her stare. “You like her?”
“Yes. No. I don’t know, I hardly know her. But I want to know her. I want to be better with people.”
Raven frowned. “Ozias, you’re great with people.” She gestured loosely to the assassins. “They’ve done nothing but sing your praises since you left.”
“New people, then. I just… I just don’t want to flounder when I talk.” My ears still burned from my earlier moment with Isla.Rations.Even now, it sounded dumb. And Isla was so…confident. She commanded attention the moment she entered a room. And when she spoke, people listened. She was magnetic.
And I was the complete opposite.
“Just don’t analyze it so much.” Raven lifted a shoulder. “Better to speak your mind and fumble over words than say nothing at all. You never know when it might be your last chance.” Her eyes clouded over with sadness, and she jerked her chin away. My own insecurities died, and I inched closer to her.
“Raven.”
“I’m fine.” Her curt words did nothing to hide her pain. She took several breaths and then straightened. Emotions hidden behind a stoic mask, she nodded toward the assassins. “Look, they’ve finished with their drills.”
I glanced over her head just as Iov and Emelia strolled toward us. Astrid followed with them, sweat clinging to her hairline but a happy grin stretched wide across her face. As much as I wanted to press Raven further, to show her that she could be vulnerable with me, I let that desire fall away. When she was ready, I’d be there for her.
“You ready to come back yet?” Astrid asked. “These two are good, but not Ozias good.”
Emelia jabbed her with a playful elbow and then flicked her braided ponytail over her shoulder. “As much as it pains me to admit, Astrid is right. The newbies could use your guidance.”
I smiled at them, happy to shift the conversation for Raven’s sake. “Yes. We’ll be back in a few days. Drills going smoothly?”
“They’re swell.” Iov side-eyed Raven, then grinned. “You missed out today. What, was this morning’s sparring match enough for you?”
Raven hissed. “Sweep my legs again and I’ll end you. I promise.”
I didn’t bother to muffle my laughter. “Good. And the sentries? Any news to report?”
