“I...” His throat bobbed as his eyes turned glassy. “You give too much of yourself. Always. First with me and Noam, then with them. I can’t...wecan’t lose you. If Noam were here, you know he’d be fighting this, too.”
A sad smile pulled at my lips. “I know.”
“You don’t have much time left.” His words were a whisper. A plea. An arrow straight to my heart. There was no telling how much of my lifespan I’d shaved off when I’d cured Fernglove, but I felt the loss in my bones, in the tiredness that never seemed to leave, in the hair-raising chill no one else noticed. Every day was one step closer to my grave.
“That’s exactly why I’m going.”
“Edira—”
“Nohr,” I said, cutting him off, “I spent years making sure you and Noam were cared for, and now you are. You don’t have to work in the mines. You don’t have to scrounge for food. You’re free to do whatever you please.”
“No one asked you to do that, Edira.” Nohr shook his head.
It took everything in me not to let out a bitter laugh; I was so damn tired. I loved my brothers. I would repeat my past again and again if it meant getting them to where they were now, but they would never understand the mental load that came with that role. No, they hadn’t asked me to raise them, to feed them, to shelter them. But who else would have? And when they were old enough to take on more, they didn’t think to ask.
I went to Fernglove the first time to save them. I wanted to go back to see if I could save myself.
“I won’t threadmend,” I said softly. “But I am going back. What if there’s a way to protect my own threads? What if I can prolong this fate by harnessing this magic?”
A pregnant pause swelled between us. Nohr’s brows drew together. “Is something like that possible?”
“No one knows. But I need to try,” I said firmly. “Wouldn’t it be nice if I had more time?”
“Of course.” He gave an indignant scoff. “I just don’t trust them.”
“They’re the only ones who can help.”
I knew the moment I won when his eyes shuttered and his chest fell, and then he swept me into a tight hug that made my bones ache. Ywena barely escaped and fled to the safety of Vora’s shoulder. I wrapped my arms around Nohr and buried my face against his shirt. For several moments, we didn’t move. We simply breathed each other in. Only when Seville cleared her throat did Nohr release one of his arms, tucking me to the side of him so he could glare directly at her.
“When?” he asked.
I looked to Seville and she stood, brushing invisible dirt off her clothes. “I’d recommend sooner rather than later, but I’m at your disposal.” She cut a quick glance out the window. “If you grab your things now, we’ll make it back in time for dinner.”
“I’ll get started.” Vora pushed away from the table and headed for the stairs. She was gone in seconds.
“Are you sure you’ll be safe?” Nohr asked.
“Of course she’ll be safe,” Seville said as she moved toward me and draped her arm over my shoulders. “I’ll keep her out of harm’s way.”
“Is that supposed to reassure me?” He glowered at her.
“Far be it for me to tell you how to feel. Though this ‘overprotective brother’ angle looks good on you.” She tilted her chin up with a smirk. “I should let Tasia know. She did find you rather attractive.”
“Seville,” I said just as Nohr stiffened and took a sharp step forward. “Don’t antagonize him.” I stepped out of her grasp and reached for Nohr’s hands. The tension in his arms softened when I gripped his fingers tight. “I’m going to be fine.”
He rounded his hard gaze on me. “For how long?”
“I don’t know.” I tossed a quick look at Seville, but she offered only a small shrug. “It’s not like last time. Maybe a few days, or maybe Rorik will throw me out the moment I get there.”
“One can hope,” Nohr grumbled. Then he let out a long, heavy sigh that settled over me like a blanket. “Fine. But if I don’t hear from you within a day or two, I’ll be knocking down their door with my own fists.”
“That would be fun to see,” Seville mused.
I shot her a harried look. “That’s fine, Nohr. I promise I’ll stay in touch.”
“Okay, Edira. If this is what you want...” He wrapped me in another hug before releasing me and moving toward the foyer. “I’ll find Noam so he can see you off, too. We’ll meet you at the arch.”
My gaze followed him out the door. Without turning to face Seville, I asked, “Have you been back to Fernglove recently?”
