He smirked. “Don’t worry, I’ll stay over there.” After pointing to the far side of the cavern, he dove into the water. And because it was so obnoxiously clear, it was impossible not to see how the contours of his muscles flexed as he swam. When he emerged, he ran an errant hand through his hair, sweeping the strands out of his face, and leaned against one of the stones lining the pool. “We pull from this water source for our baths at the estate. It’s rich in minerals that help with healing. It’s deep in the middle, but there are a few shelves along the edge where you can stand or sit.”
Everything about his sly expression told me that he knew exactly what he was doing.
Two could play at that game.
“Fine, I suppose it’s only fair.” I edged closer to the pool and stripped out of my shirt, revealing beige undergarments trimmed in white lace.
Rorik kept his gaze level. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Just that your siblings have both seen me undressed.” I moved to my pants next, making a show of slowly easing them down my thighs before nudging them to the side with my foot. “Wouldn’t want you feeling left out.”
“I hate that in so many ways.” Heat flared in his eyes as a current of indignation trickled down our bond.
“I imagine it’s quite hard for you.” I shrugged. “Or perhaps not.” It took everything in me not to look at his waist and confirm my assessment, and instead I peered into the depths of the water. The bottom of the pool was covered in thousands of small river stones, and each one had veins of emerald green streaking through their surface.
Rorik growled, his gaze trained intently on me. “Get in already.”
“I suppose I’ll listen to you this time.” I dove into the pool, only to quickly regret doing so. The water was biting cold, and it effectively doused whatever sultry behavior I’d managed to summon in an attempt to tease Rorik. I broke the surface with a yelp and glared his way. “It’s freezing!”
“I said we were here to cool off.” He still hadn’t moved, but I finally noticed the telltale pearling of gooseflesh ravaging his skin.
“Gods, how long do we have to stay in here?” I shivered as I searched for the shelf along the edge. Once I found a smooth place to sit, I curled my knees against my chest to salvage what warmth I could. Water splashed near my chin, and I barked out a shaky curse.
“Not long. Just relax. We’ll be done before you know it.” He tilted his head back. Closed his eyes.
Yeah, right,I thought. The cold was near insufferable, but Rorik was right. Already the soreness in my body from training had lessened, though I refused to admit it out loud. It was likely just the cold staving off the ache anyway.
A minute scraped by in agonizing silence, save the chattering of my teeth. Rorik had settled deeper into the water, allowing his back to slip down the side of the wall so just his chin remained above the surface. How he wasn’t entirely ice by this point was beyond me.
Does your brain ever shut off?His voice was silken in my mind. I glared at him, but his eyes were still closed, and he seemed otherwise unbothered by my existence.
No.I eyed my clothes and debated abandoning the pool altogether.Does yours?
He opened his eyes and speared me with a harried look.No. But what plagues my mind is hardly any concern of yours.
Maybe I want to know. Maybe I just want to understand you.I held his gaze, daring him to break away first.
I don’t want or need to be understood.
That is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard.I sighed and cast my eyes to the ceiling. There was some deep, unnamed feeling rooting around in my chest that I didn’t want to examine, and the more time I spent with Rorik the more it bled to the forefront of my mind.
I want what I shouldn’t, and I’m afraid to lose what I don’t have.His words were soft in my mind, so much so that I thought I imagined them. But when I rounded my stare back to him, he was still looking at me with a weighted expression that was steeped in a strange mixture of longing and despair. An ache stemmed from my heart, and I itched to close the gap between us and hold his hand. He’d been through so much in his life: abused by his father and brother, cast aside by his sister—recent actions notwithstanding—left alone in a loveless household. Sometimes it was easy to forget just how scarred Rorik was. He hid his emotions behind walls of glamour and stone, leaned on sarcasm and acidic words to keep people at arm’s length.
I wondered if anyone had ever asked him whathewanted.
So I did.
What do you want?I’d forgotten about the cold at this point and uncurled my legs from my chest. Leaning forward, I gripped the lip of the stone seat. It would be so easy to push off the edge and swim to him. We didn’t ask for this position we found ourselves in—tied to each other in a heartbond born out of fealty and guilt—but I didn’t want him to suffer. He always said he wanted me to live. I wanted him to live, too.
Emotions flared down our bond, never fully coming to a head as if he were stopping them before they became too noticeable. Another minute ticked by, and I wasn’t sure he’d answer me at all. But I wasn’t ready to let go of this strangely vulnerable moment. Rorik had given me so much, and if our arrangement really was this for that, maybe it was time I tried to share with him. Just a little.
Do you want to learn how to see threads?
“No,” he said aloud, the word soft but firm as it reverberated through the cavern. “You are not obligated to share your magic with me. I never expected that when I offered to bond with you.”
“I know.” My heart hammered in my chest as I swam toward him. When I got close enough that our hands could touch, I found a seat beside him and settled against the stone. “But simply looking at threads doesn’t drain my magic or shorten my lifespan. Looking”—I couldn’t help but steal a glance at his body—“doesn’t hurt. Promise.”
“I don’t know,” he hedged.
