His tone is teasing, but I know it masks a real hurt. There’s a wall between us now that didn’t exist before, and it’s all my fault. That I’ve dimmed the light in his eyes feels like a worse crime.
I drop his hand and twine my arms around his neck, pulling him tome until our bodies are touching. He raises an eyebrow but follows my lead, clasping his hands on my lower back and pressing me closer. I melt into him, molding to his contours like a strawberry dipped in chocolate. I try to memorize the feel of him in my arms in case it doesn’t last beyond this song.
“This event reminds me of the inaugural ball,” he muses.
“I wouldn’t know. I was too busy rocking myself in the fetal position.”
“I’ll have to fix that for the next one.”
I don’t know whether to laugh or cry at all his statement implies.
He scans the crowd. “What do you think, should we break out the two-step? That would really get this party started.”
“Mm, I don’t think I could stand the attention. I’m a wallflower bride, remember.”
He nods off the dance floor, where my friends are doing a poor job of pretending not to gawk at us. “Your not-so-secret admirer is watching us.”
I sigh. “You know I’m not interested in John.”
His face grows serious. “I do know.”
“If you know, then why did you give me such a hard time about him?” I ask, exasperated.
“Because I’m a jealous asshole.”
My heart leaps.This is a good sign.
“Besides, even if I wasn’t sure, your coma face makes it very obvious.”
“Mycomaface?”
“When you talk to him, you’re asleep with your eyes open. I’ve seen you do it loads of times.”
“I don’t do that!” I protest, indignant.
“Youabsolutelydo that.”
“I’ve never done it with you!”
“Not withme,” he says, like the very idea offends him to his core. “To people who bore you.”
I consider that. “One thing we’re not is boring.”
“Ain’t that the truth.” As if to prove his point, he spins me out in dramatic fashion, then reels me back in. The song’s already starting to wind down and my pulse picks up.
It’s time. Enough stalling, Kate.
“Hey, Ben?”
“Hey, Kate?”
“I’m so sorry for the things I said. I didn’t mean any of it. I can never begin to express how much I regret it.”
His dancing slows, his lips parting in surprise.
“You were right, I was scared. So,soscared of my feelings for you. And I thought I was doing the right thing for you, finally, after doing so many wrong things, but then I realized I did the worst thing of all by pushing you away. It was the biggest mistake of my life, and if nothing else, if you can’t forgive me, I want you to know that.”
Our swaying has stopped entirely now, and he’s staring at me like I’m speaking in tongues.
