“Yes. Yes.” I can barely speak. “Can’t... form words.”
That earns me a smile, and he rewards me by pressing in a little more. My eyes roll back in my head.“Oh my Goooooood.”
“Still good?”
I babble a string of indecipherable mumblings mixed with his name. My brain is fuzzy and things are nonsensical. The earth is flat; the moon is made of Swiss cheese.
He laces our fingers together above my head. “Stay with me.”
“I’m with you,” I slur. My voice sounds very far away.
It’s incredible, this fullness. It’s intense and moving, an overpowering sense of submission I’ve never experienced before. He’s filled me socompletely I’m already worried about how empty I’ll feel when he’s gone. I let out a moan-sob because I know with sudden clarity: This is the moment where my life splits into Before and After. I’ll never be the same.
“Is it too much?”
I nod, a tear slipping from the corner of my eye, trailing across my cheek.I love you too much.
“We can slow down,” he says, already starting to withdraw.
“No!” I hook my legs around his waist and lock them at the ankles, pinning him to me. “I mean, it feels perfect. Don’t stop.”
“You’recrying.”
“Because I’m happy.”
He hesitates, searching my face for signs that I’m lying. His eyes are carnal and unfocused, but also cautious, like he’s warring between what we both want and what he thinks I need.
I grab his face and kiss him, reassuring him the only way I know how that I’m fine, that I’m ready, that I love him. I can feel the exact moment when any resistance he’s holding on to slips away, and he kisses my tears away and kisses love into me as he buries his entire length inside me.
I cry out, digging my nails into his shoulders as my body acclimates to him. Even with my head thrown back I still feel his eyes on my face, watching me, studying my reactions. He pulls one of my legs up and hugs my thigh as he rocks into me, slow and deliberate. A strong push forward, a light slide back. It’s like a dance. It’s what I imagine heaven is like.
The termmaking lovehas always felt flowery to me, too cloyingly romantic, but it’s the only way I can describe what’s happening between us, this soul exchange, the overwhelming sense ofrightness. We’ve entered a sexual stratosphere beyond anything I knew existed, thoughcomparing Ben to anyone else feels like a crime against humanity. He’s Da Vinci in a world of finger-painters.
I start to feel guilty; he has me so out of my mind with need, I’m barely contributing. I’m loose-legged and insentient, completely lost to the euphoria of his rolling thrusts. I’m also knocking on the door of an orgasm and we’re barely a minute into this. I beseech my body to wait, but it’s like trying to stop a speeding train.
“Ben,” I warn on a broken breath, “I can’t... I’m going to—”
He chooses that moment to take my nipple in his mouth again and my mind goes entirely blank. I buck against him and scream his name, coming apart in his hands. Where he fills me throbs as waves of pleasure roll through my body. He holds me through my shuddering, the tremors going on and on, and I clutch his arms and whimper soft cries in his ear as he kisses me back to earth.
As I slowly come down, embarrassment sets in. “I’m sorry I didn’t last longer,” I whisper into his neck.
He draws back, jaw dropped. “Are youapologizingfor coming underneath me while screaming my name? If you only knew how many times I’ve dreamt of that...”
“In your dreams did I last longer than a minute?” I joke, self-conscious.
He silences me with a nip to my lips. “My imagination didn’t even come close. You have no idea what a turn-on it is for me to see you lose control like that. See what I can do to you. And don’t you dare hold back, ever. I will take it as a personal affront.”
I laugh and cling to his neck. “It must have been the months of foreplay...”
He runs a thumb over my bottom lip and I try to bite it. “Or it’s just me.”
“Probably just you,” I concede.
“It’s just you for me too. Only you,” he murmurs. “Always you.” He grazes the tip of his nose against mine. “I bet I can give you a round two.”
I start to laugh before I realize: If anyone could give me multiple orgasms, it’s Ben and his magic penis.Here’s to trying.
“I’ll take that bet, only because it’s one we’ll both end up winning.”
