“Papers,” he finally answers.
“Papers?Seriously?”
“Best I can do.” He leans in, voice lowered. “I’m afraid you don’t have high enough security clearance.”
“Nice try. And your shifty behavior’s just making me more curious, by the way.” He shrugs, unrepentant. “Fine, since you ducked that question, I get another one. Where do you see yourself in ten years?”
He rocks back in his chair, patting his abdomen. “Let’s see. Forty.” He widens his eyes in a faux-panicked expression. “Hopefully married with some kids,notworking in government anymore.”
I smile at the thought of Ben as a dad. He’ll be an amazing father—I know it with a rare, soul-deep certainty. The realization startles me. Are these the thoughts lurking in my subconscious?
He’s giving me a funny look. I’ve been quiet too long.
“You want to get out of politics?” I ask quickly, latching onto the second part of his statement. The idea of Ben not working down the hall is... strangely depressing.
He nods. “How about you?”
I think for a minute. “Thirty-seven. Hopefully still doing similar work, but getting paid a lot more. Maybe married, maybe kids. I don’t like to put that pressure on myself.”
His eyes search my face with interest until my skin heats. “Your turn,” I note pointedly.
“What was the fight with your mom about?”
This time, I’m the one who freezes. “Pass.”
“Come on, I think I’ve shown serious restraint not asking you about this.”
“Is that what this little game was about? Trying to sneak this one in?” I grab my water and guzzle the whole glass.
“No. But your reaction just makes me more curious.”
I make a face.
“If you want, you can ask me something about my family first,” he offers.
“Oh please, what would I need to ask you? You have ‘nuclear family’ written all over you.”
I should’ve known he wouldn’t let this go. When a week passed without it coming up, I assumed he was doing the gentlemanly thingand pretending that whole scene never happened. Guess there’s only so much chivalry he’s got in the tank and the table linens tapped him out.
“Just tell me, what am I missing?”
I blow out a breath. “Fine. So my parents were high school sweethearts and they had a very romantic time at prom apparently, because my mom ended up pregnant with me. They got a lifetime souvenir out of a high school dance. My dad went off to college and we stayed back.” There. That’s it in a nutshell. Hopefully, conversation over.
Unlike me, Ben has an excellent poker face. His expression doesn’t waver during my confession. He doesn’t even crack a smile at myprom souvenirline, and that one’s usually a crowd-pleaser.
“So what happened when he came back from college?”Argh.
I squirm in my seat. “He didn’t reallycome back, per se. I didn’t see him a whole lot growing up. Like a few times a year, maybe, when he would come home from college on breaks, and then after... he just wasn’t ready to be a parent. Until I was twelve, at least.”
“Until you weretwelve? What happened when you were twelve?”
“He decided he wanted to be a dad. Funny how that happens. He turned thirty and realized, ‘Oh wait’”—I slap my forehead—“‘I have a kid!’”
Ben’s eyes sharpen and I immediately regret my sarcasm. I sound bitter, and that’s a dead giveaway I’m more affected by this than I’m letting on. After nearly thirty years I’ve learned:deflect,play it off,light jokes,wrap it up. It’s the surest way to avoid being pitied.
“So when he did start coming around more, what happened?” He’s like a dog with a bone.
“Well, I was twelve—it wasn’t like he could just swoop in and pick up where he left off. Anyway, it didn’t last long because he ended up moving to North Carolina for his job shortly after that.” I trail my finger through the condensation on my water glass.
