Valerie turned to pick up a shirt and dropped it when she realized it was Penny’s. “More important than what just happened?”
“Yes.”
He was right that they needed to talk, although that fight felt like hours ago. Days. “I should have told you right away about Yvette and Rory. You were a bit right. I got caught up in the excitement of it. I made an impulsive decision and I made it based on myself.”
It wasn’t until the end that she had the courage to raise her head.
Nico looked in her eyes although she could tell he felt uncomfortable. “I was hurt you didn’t tell me right away,” he said. “It was important to me and you kept it hidden.”
“It was wrong of me,” she said. “I wanted to make it a thing because that way I’d be part of it. Central, as you put it.”
“I’m sorry. I should have phrased it better.”
“Probably, but sometimes you need to hear it straight, you know? Without a sugar coating that you can hide under like an icing jacket.”
“That image is terrible.”
“Really? I thought it was sweet.”
That made him laugh, a little, but it was enough to break the tension. “I understand why you want to be involved. I do, too, but this is Roger’s life. Not ours.”
“I know.” She watched a thin branch dip by the window as a little sparrow lit on it. “I’m sorry for being mean about Roger and your relationship. It’s none of my business.”
“It made me think. I’ve always liked being needed by Roger, and I thought it would be disloyal to quit even when I wanted something else.”
“I liked being part of this family for a while,” she said in a low voice. “They’re kind of a mess but I thought they cared about each other. Like the other day.”
“What other day?”
“David and Roger were standing together and talking on the dock after he taught me how to kayak. I could see how relaxed they were, and when David said something, Roger whacked him on the back and they both laughed hard enough they had to hold each other up.” It had stuck in her memory because she’d had the same sense of being a permanent observer she experienced with her own family.
He reached out for her hand and she gave it to him without hesitation. They were silent for a moment.
“I’m really sorry, Nico,” she said.
“So am I.” He wrapped his arms around her and she pressed her cheek against his shoulder, trying to keep the tears back.
“How do you feel about finding Rory?” he asked after a moment.
“It’s weird saying her name, don’t you think?”
She felt him nod. “Rogette was good, too, but this makes her real.”
“I resented it a little at first,” she admitted, releasing him. She needed to move while she talked. It was too much to stand there. “I was jealous she had this waiting for her. I know that’s terrible and there’s going to be a lot of feelings and trauma and bad stuff, but all I could see was how badly Roger wanted to know his daughter, and how hard he was trying to find her.”
“I understand.” He picked up a flowered skirt from the doorknob and handed it to her. “What happened wasn’t your fault.”
“It feels like my fault.” She stuffed in the skirt. “A bit.”
“Let’s agree the lion’s share is Roger,” Nico suggested. “Which means it’s on him to fix it. Or mitigate it in some way.”
“Yeah.”
Nico took her hand again. “Hey. I know you’re upset, but this isn’t your problem to solve.”
“I know, because I’m not a Badgerton.”
“No. Me neither.”
