“It wasn’t nothing to me.”
Jesse’s eyes lock on mine for a long beat as the words hangbetween us. I am newly conscious of my body, attuned to the blood in my veins, the way that each breath labors in my chest.
With effort, he finally tears his gaze away, eyes dropping to study a paint splatter on the toe of his shoe. “It’s getting late. I should let you get some sleep.”
A wave of disappointment floods through me, extinguishing the flame that’s been steadily growing inside me all night.Damn.I really thought he was going to kiss me. What’s changed? From holding my hand to this new, tense distance between us?
Jesse looks like he’s waging a battle within himself, his gray eyes turned stormy. When he finally speaks, his voice is resigned.
“Good night, Marissa.”
My body deflates. Well, that settles it.
“Good night, Jesse.”
I rotate, taking a step toward my front door. And that’s when I remember my resolution from earlier. I’m done letting life happen to me. I’m in charge now, and that means going after the things I want. And right now, what I want is Jesse.
I turn back to grab hold of his elbow. That small movement is all it takes. He whirls around, and before I can register what’s happening, Jesse’s mouth is on mine.
The moment our lips meet, reservation melts away and instinct takes over. His hands are everywhere: dragging through my hair, skating down my back, pressing into my hips. One palm cradles the back of my head, angling my face upward. My arms loop around his neck as I pull him down to me.
Jesse’s kissing echoes his personality: strong and capable, yet gentle. The coarse stubble of his beard is juxtaposed with the softness of his lips, which are firm and confident as he alternates between deep pressure and gentle, lingering kisses.
“Marissa,” he breathes, and the sound of my own name sends a pulsing sense of need through me. I grab him by the collar and diveback in, kissing him with a fervor I didn’t know I possessed. God, it’s been years since I’ve been kissed like this. Come to think of it, I’m not sure I’ve ever been kissed like this.
My fingers weave through the curls at the base of his neck and they are just as soft as I’d imagined they’d be. Jesse presses a hand into my lower back, pulling me flush against him. I gasp when his hips press into me, and I feel the unmistakable shape of his excitement. My own desire throbs between my legs as he drags his lips down the column of my neck, his tongue tracing over my pulse point.
He takes hold of my face, thumbs skating across my cheeks as his mouth claims mine again. My body goes limp as I melt against him, no longer conscious of anything other than the sensation of his lips and the heat of his body as it presses into mine. The world around us fades to a blur of fireflies and woodsmoke, pine needles and the dizzying sensation of being truly and thoroughly kissed.
When he finally breaks away, his lips are purple and swollen and his formerly tousled curls are now in full disarray. The unsteady rise and fall of his chest mirrors my own as we stare back at each other, wild-eyed and struggling to catch our breath.
“It wasn’t nothing to me either,” he says. And then he backs down the sidewalk, disappearing into the darkness.
18JESSE
If it weren’t for my lips, which are still buzzing the following day, I’m not sure I would have believed last night was anything but a fever dream. That, plus my inability to wipe the shit-eating grin off my face.
I try to rearrange my expression into something passably neutral when I arrive at Toby and Shelby’s place for Sunday-night dinner, but I don’t make it past the entryway before Shelby gives me a head-to-toe once-over and declares, “Oh shit. You kissed her!”
She looks over her shoulder and yells for my brother. “Toby, get in here! Your brother is marrying a movie star!”
“Wait, calm down,” I tell her. “I didn’t… I’m not… How did you know I kissed her?”
She smirks at me. “For starters, you aren’t scowling.”
“I don’t scowl.”
“Sure you don’t, Mr. Tall, Dark, and Eternally Brooding. Also, your skin is glowing. I’ve tried every sheet mask on the market and have never come close to that level of radiance.”
Toby joins her in the hallway. He crosses his arms and grins at me.
“She’s right. You haven’t looked this happy since the Eagles won the Super Bowl. Check out your face, dude.”
When I sneak a glimpse at myself in the entryway mirror, I barely recognize my reflection. They’re right—Idolook happy. My shoulders are relaxed and there’s an unfamiliar lightness to my posture. Despite my best efforts to hide it, a small, irrepressible smile is firmly planted on my face.
I groan in resignation.
“Okay, you win. I kissed her. Are you happy?”
