He whirls back through the doorframe, gaping.
“That’s really what you think?” he asks.
I shrug, unable to answer. He hasn’t said a word, hasn’t done a single thing, that explains otherwise.
In two giant strides he’s crossed the room again. He cups my chin in his hand and tips my face up to look at him. Is he seriously about to kiss me again? The absolute nerve of this guy.
But before I pull away or lean in—my frontal lobe and amygdala haven’t finished hashing it out, gladiator style—Cam stops just short of kissing me.
“Take everything you just said, Ivy, and reverse it. You have it entirely backward,” he says. “Entirely.”
He drops my chin and heads out the door. And this time he doesn’t come back.
Chapter Thirty-One
The next day I am essentially a human-sized exposed nerve. It seems unfair, unethical even, to make me go to school in this state. Unfortunately, last night my mother learned that I in fact did not go to school yesterday. So I’m currently walking down the block not only with a ripped-out heart but also with a metaphorical stiletto heel jammed up my ass.
Cam’s mom is pretty lax compared to mine, but she’ll probably make Cam go to school too. I will have to do everything I can to avoid him at all costs.
It’s confusing, because I’mnearlycertain I’m avoiding Cam purely out of embarrassment. I practically fell over myself to kiss him. I listened to him tell me—for the second time—that kissing me was a mistake. He pulled me in and then pushed me away completely. There is not a hole deep enough for me to burrow into to recover from that.
And yet.
Tendrils of another feeling are mixing in with the one I already know. I’m filled not only with searing embarrassmentbut also…a strange, cold guilt for some unknown reason. Like icy fingers wrapped around a hot mug.
“Why should I feel guilty?” I mutter to myself as I round the last corner to school.
Cam’s the one who stole my flyer and turned the treasure hunt into a race. Cam chased us down at the art museum. He forced us to add him to the group. He made me track clues across the city with him when all five of us were supposed to be taking a break.
He’s the one who stormed into my house, into my room, and pulled me to him.
If anything, I’m only culpable of beingtoocomplicit in all of Cam’s demands.
The mysterious guilt still lingers.
“Hey, Sunny,” I say as I walk down the main hallway.
I veer toward her locker, but as the door slams and Sunny looks at me, I realize I have absolutely made the wrong move. Her face is flushed and blotchy. Her eyes are all sharp edges. She scowls at me like I am a rat-sized cockroach that just crawled out of the gutter in front of her. I immediately take a step back.
Monday!my brain pings. Sunny told me she had feelings for me on Monday. And today is Wednesday, and I haven’t said one word to her since then. Until right now.
But Sunny doesn’t particularly look like she’s waiting on a response from me. She shifts to face the opposite direction, then begins shuffling through the books in her arms.
“God, Sunny. I’m so sorry about yesterday. I was…”
Don’t lie and say you were sick.
“Sick,” I say anyway, because it is literally the only reason my mom ever allows me to miss school. She even schedules all my medical appointments for Saturdays. Nobody should have to schlep to a freaking dental cleaning on a Saturday.
Sunny makes a weird, choked laugh. “Oh. Sick. Is that right?”
Should I cough or something? This entire conversation feels like getting trapped in a spider’s web. If I struggle, I’ll only make it worse. I decide to sidestep yesterday entirely.
“I thought a lot about what you said on Monday.”
“No you didn’t,” Sunny says dully.
“Come on, Sunny. I’m trying to talk to you about this. I…I was caught off guard after the meeting. I didn’t think you liked me that way. I thought you barely liked me at all.”
