“I don’t care if you don’t.”
“Hmm. Well, I say we pick what we like, and if we end up clashing, we’ll revel in it.”
Miles gave a lazy smile. “Let’s both pick ridiculously bright colors.”
“Oh yes,” I said. “We can blind all of our classmates.”
“Well, Denny has always said he needed more blind friends.”
We both laughed before sliding out of my truck. I’d worried that, now that he knew about my asexuality, things would be awkward between us. But, if anything, it was the opposite. I felt more at ease with Miles than ever. The last secret I kept from him had been revealed and, while I still didn’t know where that left us in terms of our feelings for each other, things were comfortable. Easy.
Unless I brought up the letters, of course.
I didn’t, though. Not that day.
He gave me a quick wave before slumping off to the other end of the parking lot. I turned and started toward the consignment shop, but I’d only gone past two rows of cars when I saw Ashley’s van parked in a handicapped spot. And there was Ashley, with her husband, loading shopping bags into the back.
I ducked my head and tried to walk past as quickly as I could, but of course it couldn’t be that easy.
“Hey, Ash,” I heard Logan say before I’d managed to slip by. “I think that’s Lee over there.”
Ashley looked over her shoulder, her eyes meeting directly with mine. She was in her power chair with Miriam on her lap. She looked away from me and passed Miriam to Logan. “Will you put her in the car seat for me, babe? I’ll only be a minute.”
Once he’d taken Miriam, Ashley turned and began moving toward me. I stopped a few feet away, lingering on the sidewalk just across from the spot where Ashley had parked. I couldn’t move, even though all I wanted at that moment was to run to the consignment shop and hide behind clothing racks. Ashley’s stare had pinned me in place.
She maneuvered her chair up the small curb and stopped when we were only a few feet apart. At first, she said nothing. I guess she must’ve been waiting for me to speak. We both knew I owed her an explanation. But my mouth felt dry and my tongue was heavy. After nearly a minute, all I could manage was a quiet, “Hey.”
“Hi,” she replied, her tone terse. After another pause, she said, “What’s wrong with you, Lee?”
“Ashley—”
“I know what you’ve been saying … about Sarah,” she said. “Brother Lloyd told us. It’s all anyone in my church can talk about. They keep asking me why my friend would tell these kind of lies. And I don’t know what to tell them because I have no idea.”
“It’s not a lie,” I said. “I’m sorry, Ashley. I should’ve told you, I know, but the necklace wasn’t—”
“Stop.” She held out her hand, palm facing me. “Just stop. I can’t believe you, Lee. I thought you wanted to tell the truth. I thought that was why you had me write that letter.”
“That is why,” I said. “I want to tell the truth and this—about Sarah. It’s the truth. It’s the whole reason I decided to do this.”
“It is not the truth,” she argued. “It can’t be. I heard her. I was outside the bathroom and Iheardher.”
I shook my head, but Ashley kept going.
“If it really wasn’t her necklace—if she really didn’t talk to him—you would have told everyone sooner. You would have toldmesooner. I thought we were friends, Lee. I thought of you like my family.”
“We are friends, Ashley.”
“We’re not.” And I could see tears in her eyes then. She wasn’t just mad. She was hurt. Really hurt. Ashley wasn’t the one of us who cried. Me, sure. Eden too, sometimes. Even Miles and Denny had shed a few tears since the shooting. But never Ashley. She was the one who held us when we cried. Who comforted us when we were hurt. Who protected us from those who might hurt us in the first place.
But I was the one making her cry now. Just one more thing to feel guilty about, I guess.
She ran a hand across her face, pushing the small salty drops off her cheeks. “If we were friends, you wouldn’t have made me out to be a liar.”
“I wasn’t trying to make you a liar,” I said. “Until I read your letter, I had no idea you were the one who started the rumor. If I had, I would have said something to you first. But by then, I’d already told Sarah’s parents. I’m sorry, Ashley. I never meant to put you in the middle of this, but … but you’re the one who told everyone. I didn’t say anything sooner, so it’s my fault, too. But—”
“Iheard her,” she said again. “I heard what she said. It was Sarah’s necklace and she stood up to him and hearing that … hearing her changed my life. It gave me faith and strength that I needed. And I told everyone because it was so … it meant so much to me. And if it didn’t happen—if it wasn’t her—then I don’t know what’s real and I …” She trailed off as she tried to wipe her face again, but there were far too many tears now. They refused to be pushed aside and continued pouring down her cheeks.
I stepped forward, instinctively going to hug her, but she moved her chair back before I could get any closer.
