“No? Premiered at the Burgtheater in 1786? I actually wrote it, if you can believe that,” he brags. “The book, not the music. Wolfgang wrote the music. That was back before I realized warm weather and hot sun were much better suited for … my taste.”
“I don’t know it,” I reply.
“How about Dickens?” he continues. “Did you know thatGreat Expectations,Bleak House, andNicholas Nicklebyall have the same twist?”
“I’ve never read them,” I admit.
Eddie reels, putting his hand to his face as though he’s steadying himself. “Jesus fucking Christ! This generation!” he shouts, shaking his head. “Alright, did you ever read Animorphs in the group home?”
“Whatmorphs?”
Eddie actually seems amused and bewildered now, rather than frustrated. He pauses, realizing this next one will probably do the trick and savoring the moment.
“How about Star Wars?” he finally asks.
A classic, unavoidable line suddenly erupts in my skulllike a brilliant, dazzling firework, illuminating everything. I feel a jolt of electricity shoot down my spine, causing my body to sit just a little more upright.
Eddie bites his lip, noticing the change and letting it simmer. He nods, giving it some time, then finally speaks the words aloud in plain English.
“I’m your dad, Poppy,” he says.
Get Ready with Me
There are two kinds of surprise.
The first kind is the one we’re used to, that common sensation of our body flinching in a split-second reaction to some abrupt stimulation. This feeling is usually followed by a glorious release, our brain catching up and making sense of the brand-new world. It might not be agoodworld, as there are plenty of unfortunate surprises, but that little moment of clarity prompts a release all the same.
The second kind of surprise is when the stimulation is much more profound, when the shock is not something we can simply readjust to. It’s a fundamental shift, and no amount of clarity can help.
Our body holds on to these second moments—moments like this one, where time slows down and the world seems to vanish. It tucks them away withoutcatharsis or recalibration, calcifying them in our depths for years and years.
Still, regardless of how deeply these emotional tectonic plates rumble and shift, thatinitial shockneeds somewhere to go.
As I gaze up at Eddie Michaels, this hero of mine who has transformed into both a horrific monster and my own father over the course of a single night, I let out my initial shock in a surprising way. I start to laugh.
“You don’t believe me?” Eddie asks.
I shake my head, waving away the suggestion. It takes me a moment to collect myself, but when I finally quell the maniacal cackling, I admit the exact opposite.
“It’s not that,” I reply. “I’m laughing because I know you’re telling the truth.”
We’re two sharks, after all, driven to swim forever and gobble up as many fish as we can. Now that I think about it, this whole thing would be much stranger if weweren’trelated. Until tonight, I’d never met someone as ruthless as me.
“You just … gave me up?” I ask, the words tumbling out of my mouth before my mind can formulate a concrete plan.
“It’s not like that, sport,” Eddie says. “I needed options. I’m not interested in raising kids, I’m interested inbeinga kid.”
“What the fuck are you talking about?” I shout, much more emotion behind the words than intended. I realize now that tears are streaming down my face.
Eddie hesitates, glancing over his shoulder at the bedroom where Mary, his next victim, waits in a state of pheromone-induced paralysis. He’s eager to get back to work.
“Entertain me!” I scream with enough fury to yank back his attention.
Eddie cracks his neck from side to side and then straightens up a bit. “Alright then.” He clears his rattling throat.
“A long, long time ago, about seventeen hundred years now, a guest arrived here from a distant world. Not distant in terms of space, but something much more profound,” Eddie explains. “This guest wasn’t used to being alone. In fact, they couldn’t survive on their own. So they went out looking for a …friend, someone they could enjoy the company of for a whole lifetime.
“The thing is, it was very difficult for the guest to make friends. Friends in this world just weren’t built for the guest, not like they were back home. The guest searched and searched and searched, and every time they tried to make a new friend, that friend would get sick and go away. The guest was weak back then. They weren’t meant to survive very long without a friend.
