I bristle. Perhaps this isn’t the talk I’ve been expecting. Connorsteps closer, a fond look in his eye, and warning bells go off in my skull.
MAYDAY. ABORT.
With an awkward laugh, I move around my desk, taking a seat in my black leather chair. For once, I wish I had papers or pens or maybe even a Lisa Frank folder on my desk so that I could have something to tinker with—to pull my focus—but the desk is bare. Nothing’s on it. Not even a picture frame. I’ve always said I prefer a clear desk for a clear mind, but I’m starting to think I mistook emptiness for clarity.
Connor sits opposite me, his hand scrubbing at his mouth. “I’m so sorry,” he says. “I never should’ve brought up New York on your birthday. I should’ve told you sooner. They wanted a quick answer, but that’s no excuse.”
I nod and sip my latte. He does get a point or two for supplying a beverage.
“And you were right that night,” he adds. “Do you remember what you said? You said what we have here is good. Better than whatever roller coaster of a future some slime bag in a suit has promised.” He stares off dreamily, as if in awe. Like my rage-fueled soliloquy was delivered by the Dalai Lama.
“About that. I actually—”
He cuts me off, grinning. “I’m not taking the job, Ruby. I’m staying here. With you.”
Icy heat pricks across my neck.
“You were right,” he explains. “We have a plan, and we should stick to it. I don’t want to figure out a new city at this stage of my life. And I hate roller coasters.” He laughs, and then his expression turns serious, sending my stomach into a free fall. “I want to hold on to us, Ruby. You and me, we fit, and—”
“No.” I say it quietly, then louder. “No, Connor.”
His head jerks back. “What?”
“Take the job,” I tell him.
He brightens. “You want to go to New York, too?”
I shake my head. “No, but you should. It’s like you said. We really have been stuck on a hamster wheel, and I do have bigger dreams for myself. So do you.”
Connor shifts in his seat, adjusting his blazer. “Where is this coming from? You asked me to stay. To be with you. This is what you wanted, too. Our life, and all our plans. We could get a dog!”
It’s everything I thought I wanted.
“I’m sorry,” I tell him. “It’s not what I want anymore. And this,” I add, reaching into my purse, “is my resignation letter. I don’t want the job in New York, and I don’t want this one, either.” I round the desk and lean against it, reaching for Connor’s hands. “Screw the plans. Take the chance, or you’ll regret it. Trust me. You don’t know what could be waiting for you if you don’t take the leap.”
Connor stares up at me, confused. “Is this because you hit your head? Maybe you aren’t thinking straight. Penn told me it was a hard fall.”
A kick drum in my chest. “When did you talk to Penn?”
“You were already asleep,” he explains. “But I was lying there in my sister’s house, thinking about what you said, and I decided you were right. I should stay.” He meets my eyes with a strange, resigned look. “Somehow, though, in less than forty-eight hours, it seems you’ve managed to change your mind entirely. Why?”
“I’m not sure I can explain it.”
He flashes me a small, sad smile. “I didn’t think you had this in you, Ruby.”
That makes me laugh. “Neither did I.”
Connor fiddles with his gold watch, the one with the inscription, and I feel a swell of gratitude for the time we’ve had together. For getting to grow up and grow into myself alongside him and getting to watch him do the same. It’s a different kind of love. A deep respect.
My curiosity gets the better of me. “What else did Penn say?”
“What?”
“That night. When you called. What did he say?”
Connor lets out a long, telling exhale. Pressing his lips together, he shrugs. “He told me I was too late.”
I nod, biting back another smile. Because it’s true. Connor is too late.
