Ben: You’re beautiful, as usual. But why wouldn’t you send one last night?
Liz: I don’t know. I guess I didn’t think it was a big deal. I just didn’t feel like it.
Ben: Ok.
Liz: Are you really that upset about it?
Ben: Just didn’t seem like a big request.
Liz: I’m sorry.
Ben: It’s okay, really. No worries. Hey, I have to go back to work. Speak soon?
Liz: Absolutely.
I can’t shake the feeling that this is something bigger than I want it to be. Ben and I are just having fun, right? When did this become something that made me have feelings and stuff? When did I become the type of girl who even notices feelings?
I should’ve been a boy.
Chapter 11
Ben, February 28
The next morning, guilt gnawed at me. On my break at work, timed perfectly with when Liz usually woke up, I sent her a morning text. This was pretty standard for us. Liz hated alarm clocks. I had long ago started texting her instead, it was good for both of us. It gave me someone to talk to on my break, and it woke Liz up to a person instead of an alarm. She would usually say good morning and then disappear to get ready. As part of the routine, she would text me when she was ready to talk. Typically, by then, I was back to work, but I would have time for a quick conversation.
Liz: I’m back.
Ben: Good.
Liz: Miss me?
This was not something Liz would typically ask. The little red flag went up again. Maybe this wasn’t really Liz. Time to find out.
Ben: Hahaha. What’s the plan for today? Teaching anything cool?
Only Liz would know what she was teaching.
Liz: Persuasive Essays this week. You didn’t answer the question.
No, I didn’t. Possible Liz. I wasn’t planning on incriminating myself until I knew it was her. Looking back now, I see how irrational that was. Judge me if you must.
Ben: Persuasive, I’m good at that. HAHA. I’ll come in and speak. I know I didn’t answer the question, wasn’t planning on it.
Liz: HAHA, yeah, grab a flight and come visit. That would be fun. ANSWER THE QUESTION.
Ben: I always miss you, but I can’t afford a flight. Boo.
Liz: Double boo.
Ben: So why wouldn’t you send me a picture yesterday?
Liz: Here’s one.
The picture came in and my heart softened. It was her. I had been a complete ass to her. Unless, of course, it was possible it was her today but not last night.
Ben: You’re beautiful, as usual. But why wouldn’t you send one last night?
I think I was hoping she would say, “you didn’t ask,” or “what are you talking about,” so I could stop feeling guilty.
