“Has Kendall been by to meet her?”
“Not yet, but Kayla will introduce them on Monday.”
Melanie adjusts a pearl pin pulling back one side of her blond hair. “You’ll love Kendall, she’s beautiful and one of Kayla’s best friends,” she says. “I could be biased because she’s mine, but hey.” She laughs and I realize that she looks at my mom whenever she does.
I smile and nod.
“We all love her,” my mom adds.
Melanie beams and then turns back to me. “So, your mom told me you were at boarding school?” She crosses her arms like she’s settling in for a story.
My mom clears her throat. I can tell from the look on her face that I should go with it.
“Yes, ma’am,” I say as politely as I can.
“I guess we could all use a little vacation from home sometimes, huh?” Melanie says, winking.
A vacation?I keep my face straight.
My mom squeezes my shoulder lightly. “We’re really excited she’s back,” she says, but Melanie isn’t even looking at us anymore—she’s too busy staring at her phone. Still, I feel my heart lift at my mom’s reassurance, which feels like the most genuine part of this whole exchange.
“Of course you are,” Melanie says after an awkward pause, throwing her phone in her bag. She glances at our cart and seems to remember she came here to do something too. “Well, I better go get Bob’s ice cream before he leaves me,” she says. “Please don’t eat all of that at once.” She points to the wafers.
My mom’s grasp tightens on my shoulder and she forces alaugh. I know she’s embarrassed. She lets me go as soon as Melanie walks off and starts putting the wafers back.
“We shouldn’t be eating anything with that much sugar anyway,” she says.
I don’t challenge her. I can recognize the hard time she’s having. It’s not easy to fit in anywhere. I grab the cart as she pulls up her list again.
“Thanks, Jasmine,” she says softly.
We finish up our shopping and head to the car. My mom puts the last bag in the trunk, slips into the driver’s seat, and closes her door quietly.
“Jasmine, I wanted to talk to you about this, and I’m sorry it came up before we had the chance, but I’d like to stick with the boarding school story for the time being,” she says.
My heart drops. “You want me to lie?”
She takes a deep breath and faces me. “I want you to give yourself a chance to be known for something other than where you’ve been. You’re a different person now and you should be able to show people that without their judgment. Detention center is not a normal thing around here. They wouldn’t understand. You get that?”
“I get it. I’ll do it,” I say, numb.
“Thank you,” she says, her eyes back on the dashboard. “I’ve spoken to your new school, and to Kayla. She understands how important this is, too.”
I nod, knowing I don’t have much choice in the matter anyway.
As we drive home, Mom is quiet, the lighthearted feeling from earlier gone. I look out the window and try to sort out what I’m feeling. I want my mom to be proud of me. I want to really embrace this second chance, not just for her but for myself, too. I’ve messed things up so badly that I can only fix themby being a new person. Yet somehow, this fresh start doesn’t feel all that great. I’ve lied before… why is this different?
The cold hard fact of it slices through my gut. Because there’s a difference between us keeping a secret together and her being ashamed of me.
Then
I’ve been going straight home after school for a week since my mom grounded me for staying out with Desiree. Today is the first time I get to go somewhere else. I should be excited for a change of scenery, but instead, I’m anxious. I’m meeting my mom at the courthouse downtown. There’s someone she wants to introduce me to—someone she’s hoping can “get through to me, since she can’t.” Whateverthatmeans. Some kind of therapist, probably, who’s going to ask me all kinds of ridiculous questions about my behavior, looking for an answer that will satisfy my mom.
It’s Friday, and as usual, Desiree left before last period. She was surprised when I told her I was staying the whole day and gave me a measly thumbs-up. “Later, Ms. Brand New!” she said, laughing as she disappeared down the hall.
I spend the majority of my last class staring into space. I’m trying to calm my nerves about the courthouse meeting while pretending I can’t see Darius trying to get my attention.
As soon as the bell rings, I head out the side door and speed-walk to catch the first bus. I don’t want anyone to see me getting off. The bus shows up a few moments later and I slide into an empty seat, trying not to feel anxious about whatever this meeting has in store.
