“What makes you think I’m not?”
I shrug. “Okay, I’ll write one. I don’t know about a love note but I’ll write something.”
“You don’t love me?”
I can’t tell if she’s joking. “You don’t love me either,” I say. “We don’t even know each other, really.”
She nods for longer than the situation calls for, and I think she’s upset.
“But we can get to know each other more,” I say, trying to save the moment.
Amari puts another plate down and looks at me. Her full lips twist into a playful smirk. “Too late,” she says, moving to the last table.
I roll my eyes. “I’ll write it tonight. Well, if—” I stop as soon as I realize what I almost said.
She puts the last plate down and looks at me. “If what?”
I shake my head. I promised Samantha I wouldn’t tell anyone. The fewer people who know, the better. “Nothing,” I say. “I’ll write you something tonight.”
“Pinky promise?” Amari holds up her finger. I’m about tolink my pinky with hers when the door opens. We quickly drop our hands.
Ms. Kim looks at us, then at the tables. “Good job, ladies,” she says. “Sit anywhere.” She holds the door with her foot and lets Ms. Pat pass through holding a stack of pizza boxes.
“Come on, dinnertime,” she calls out to the girls in the rec room. The sound of chatter and laughter grows louder as the rest of our unit arrives.
I take a seat on a nearby bench and Amari sits at another table across the way. She lifts her pinky up just high enough for me to see before the girls start sitting between us. I hold mine up too, our eyes locking across the room.
11
When we pull into Myles’s driveway, I’m surprised that his house is almost as big as Alice’s. We park behind a long row of cars and head to the front door. The music is loud, the concrete practically vibrating beneath us, and we can hear laughter and shouting from inside. I feel butterflies in my stomach, and I can’t tell if I’m excited or nervous. Maybe both.
At the front steps, Alice excitedly passes around an engraved flask of “liquid courage.” Deanna hands it to me after she takes a swig. I think about passing, but then I look around at the other girls and they all seem excited for me to take a sip.
“All right,” I say. “Just a little.” The hairs on my body stand up at the taste of the warm vodka, and I shiver.
“Here we go, ladies.” Alice rings the bell.
The door opens almost immediately and a tall guy with curly brown hair smiles widely at Alice. “You made it,” he says.
“Now the party can really start,” she says, and pushes past him.
He laughs and steps aside so we can follow her. “Head downstairs to the game room.”
“Thanks for having us, Myles,” Kenny sings.
He nods at her and then smiles at me before closing thedoor.He’s cute. I smile to myself before remembering I’m not here for that.
I catch up to Deanna at the top of the stairs and we make our way down. The “game room” is an entire finished basement with shiny wood floors and dim lighting. Dark wooden beams crisscross the ceiling, making the space feel cozy even though it’s huge. In front of us, there is a line of arcade games. A group of kids is gathered around the pinball machine, yelling about a high score. To my left, I see a long leather sectional couch. Another group I recognize from school is bouncing in their seats as a girl sings into a microphone. A TV is mounted on the wall across from them, playing a karaoke video. To my right is where most of the party is, dancing in front of what looks like a fully stocked bar.
“Thisis a high school party?” I say to Deanna. She laughs and pulls me toward the bar.
“What are you drinking?” Kayla asks, bouncing over to us. She looks down at our hands and Deanna drops mine when she realizes she’s still holding it.
“Whatever you’re having!” I yell over the noise.
“You sure about that?” Kayla says, smirking.
I realize my last real drink was at Desiree’s uncle’s house over a year ago. But nobody’s grounding me tonight, so why not?
