How can you know the risks?I’m almost certain you have the dating experience of a cloistered nun,he replies.
True, but that’s my strength.I don’t have conventional expectations about relationships.Viktor is telling me his truth.Popular, confident women believe that they can change him.Whereas I accept that I don’t have the power to change any man, especially this one.
I believe what you’re telling me.Maybe I will get hurt.But I still want to go out with you.
Viktor’s eyes search my face to see if I’m telling the truth.
Why?is all he asks, that one word twisted with hope and uncertainty.
This is easy to answer.Because when I’m with you, I feel things that I’ve never felt with anyone else.I want to kiss you and touch you and…My voice trails off since that’s as far as my imaginings have gone.
Still, he holds back.I’m beginning to wonder if Viktor likes torturing himself.I reach out and pull on the collar of his soft wool coat, bringing him closer.I can feel the heat of his breath.
Sometimes, the prey walks right into the claws,I murmur.
He traps my hands against his chest.His voice is granite cold as he asks,Where did you learn that saying?
I…can’t remember.Most of my sayings are Russian, overheard and translated.Perhaps they remind Viktor of something he has heard in his family.
Evie, where did you live before?
All over the place,I hedge, but I can’t keep lying to him or this will be over.Eastern Europe mainly.
His brown eyes narrow.In Russia?
I wince.Sometimes.
He lets go of my hands like they are scalding hot, and I fall back into my seat.That explains your language skills.You have Russian ancestry?
No!I’m American.I’ve just lived there.I’m not fluent in anything, but I have a smattering of many languages.
He rests his forehead on his hand and looks out the side window.Why is everything so difficult with you?
Now he’s making me angry.We’re here, and we’re alone.But instead of kissing me as I want, he’s turning this into a whole angsty drama.
Becauseyou’remaking it difficult.It’s like you’re looking for reasons for us not to get together.Yes, I’ve lived in Russia, and I understand why you—as a Ukrainian—might not like that.But you shouldn’t stereotype people.Even if I were Russian, many Russians are against the war and want it to be over.You have to get to know me first.
He stares at me, expressionless, so I go on.There are lots of other things you could hold against me.I’m socially awkward, and I don’t have the same cultural references as everyone here.And you’re right, I don’t have a lot of experience with dating or men.
He’s still watching me, now with a slight smile.Is he laughing at me?
Are you not going to say anything?I demand.
Viktor leans his head against his seat, definitely smiling now.I kind of hate him.
How little experience with men?
His only question and he’s making fun of me.
I let out a frustrated puff of breath.Almost none.Yes, I’m way out of my depth with you.Happy now?Can we go back to campus?
The silence between us is almost palpable in the cooling car.Then Viktor leans closer.Close enough to see the amber glint of the irises in his brown eyes.While I’m not a relationship guy, I do enjoy the company of interesting…beautiful women.
Is he taunting me now?This is what I do while inexperienced women like you stay at home, Evie.
Why are you telling me this?I ask sulkily.
I’m wondering if that interests you.The two of us spending time together?
