I’ll have to appeal to the saner people in the room.Look, I know that Viktor hurt all of you, and I’m not going to diminish your feelings in any way.But he does so many good things: supporting his teammates, other students, and the whole community.He’s a highly moral person and a great hockey player.Do you really want to hurt him over what happened in the past?All of you have moved on since then.
Des opens her mouth to reply, but Angelica interrupts.Yes, we do.You can’t just waltz in here and take advantage of everything that your sisters at Alpha Z offer and never give back.
Never give back?I’ve done tons of volunteering here and supported all our big events.I’m not keeping score, but from what I’ve seen so far, Angelica never does anything that doesn’t enhance her shiny self.
She waves this off.I’m your senior, and I’m telling you to break up with Viktor.
I cross my arms.No.I’m not obligated to do anything that’s morally objectionable.That’s in the charter for all sororities and fraternities.
Angelica’s lip curls.Oh, please.You think you’re so much smarter than the rest of us.
The door bursts open, and Mia flies in.What did I miss?
She takes in the whole room: Des and Jordan sitting uncomfortably, and Angelica and I are face-to-face in tense debate.
Angelica wants Evie to dump Vik,says Jordan.
Why?Mia’s shock echoes my own.
Angelica whirls to face Mia.Because that’s the reason we even let her into Alpha Z!She wasn’t good enough to make it on her own.Evie is supposed to be our champion of revenge against a man who goes around breaking women’s hearts, and she’s not doing her job.
You are unhinged,I say softly.
Her eyes flame and narrow.You’re so dumb about men that you don’t even get it.You can break up with him now and make everyone in this room feel a whole lot better, or you can wait a week, ten days, max one month, and then he’s going to dump your ass too.And you’ll come crawling back here, crying and wishing that you’d listened to us.You may believe there’s a future with Vik, but there never is.
We agreed to let Evie date Viktor.You can’t expect her to do something that none of us were able to do,Mia says.
But even you know that he’s going to dump her.Soon,Angelica challenges.
Mia doesn’t reply, but she won’t meet my eyes.I can never know what anyone else’s relationship with Viktor was like, but I do believe that ours is different.My strength is observation.I understand his family background and his worries about his grandmother.He’s almost inarticulate when it comes to feelings, but he communicates through physical acts.He expresses his caring whenever we make love.It’s in the moments afterwards that he’s at his most tender.Maybe we’re not forever, but I know he cares.
You don’t think we have a chance either?I ask Mia.
She sighs.Look, Evie, I’m sure what you guys have is special and everything.But Vik is someone who doesn’t even know what he wants.I don’t know what his problem is.But in my case…She hesitates and looks around the room.Our breakup really came out of nowhere.We were so happy, and then, poof, it was over.
Mia looks so sad now that I regret asking her.Des and Jordan both nod.
It would actually be easier to take if he was an asshole,Jordan says.But he was actually really apologetic when we broke up.
Des makes a face.Not me.
Or me.Angelica says.Her relationship with Viktor remains a mystery to me.She went out with Viktor for longer than anyone but me, something I have great trouble understanding.
Right now, there’s a toxicity in this room that I cannot handle any longer.It’s not healthy to make one man the focus of everyone’s energy, even if he is the big-deal captain of the hockey team.And I’m distressed to find out that I’m still considered an outsider here, after everything I’ve done to be a part of the sorority.Maybe I got pledged because of a loophole, but I’ve contributed as much as any freshman.
Um, I think I’m going to resign from Alpha Zeta Mu,I say quietly.
Oh, don’t be such a baby.You’re safe now that your protector is here.Angelica motions towards Mia.We’re not going to force you to break up with your one true love.
Look, I appreciate all of you so much.I don’t look at Angelica when I say this, but even she has contributed to the person I am now.I’ve always longed for big sisters, and you’ve been like that to me.Especially you, Mia.It’s been nice to feel a part of everything here, and everything that’s important on campus.I take a deep breath of courage and then go on.But I don’t feel like I really belong here.
And it didn’t take Angelica’s blunt statement to drive that home.I’m different in a sorority that doesn’t have a lot of room for difference.And while I look acceptable now, my personality still doesn’t fit.I question things that everyone else accepts.
Thanks for everything.I swiftly depart from the room, but I’m shaking.It’s the right thing to do, but I’ve also enjoyed many parts of sorority life.
Evie, wait,Mia intercepts me at the front door.You don’t have to quit Alpha Z just because of Angelica.She’s, like, the worst person here, and you don’t want her to win.
It’s not just because of Angelica.What kind of person would I be if I couldn’t stand up to a bully?But what she said reminded me of how I’ve been feeling.It’s like a lot of the things I do here are performative, and I’m not being myself.
