He made friends there and got involved with the war effort, although not with the official forces.He’s seen so much more than I have, and he’s passionate about our heritage.I feel guilty sometimes for not being more like Marko, who learned the language and the history of Ukraine.I used to think history was useless compared to something concrete like hockey.But I’ve learned so much since then.
I swallow.Then in August, Marko disappeared.
I hear Evie’s shocked intake of breath.
At first, we thought he was staying with friends.But nobody could reach him.When my dad went to search, he couldn’t find out anything.Marko could have gone underground, or he could have been captured by Russian troops.I laugh humourlessly.Is it bad when you hope your brother was taken by the Russians?
But the alternative is far worse.He’s not a soldier, but he might be involved in something suspicious or violent.I love my brother, but I can no longer imagine what goes on his mind.
You know what’s really shitty?The last time we spoke, we got in a fight.I accused him of wasting time there.Just get Baba to come to Edmonton, then you can get on with your own life.I was echoing my father instead of listening to Marko.If he had told me what he was doing, then maybe we would have some clues to find him.
Evie wraps her arm over my chest.And you’ve been living with this since August?
Yeah.I wanted to go to Ukraine myself and search, but my mother begged me not to.I promised to finish my senior year before doing anything else.My father’s hired investigators and visited several times, but there’s no news.And now Baba refuses to leave in case Marko returns to her house.
As a younger brother, I always looked up to Marko.I’d tag along after him, and I wanted to do everything he did.But there came a time, when I was around fourteen, that we were play-fighting and I won.I realized that I was stronger, more skilled at hockey, even better at school.I’m not sure if Marko resented me, or I just gave up my hero worship.But it’s been a few years since we were really close.
After university, he kept changing jobs and searching for direction.Maybe that’s why supporting Ukraine appealed to him.It was an important cause and something all his own where he far outshone me.
If we don’t hear anything before May, I’m going there and do whatever I can to find him.I’ll stay for as long as it takes.
I wait for Evie’s reaction.I haven’t even told my parents yet.My mother will be completely against it, and my father is hoping I’ll pursue hockey after I graduate.I’m not the best person for the job—I don’t have language skills or connections.But he’s my brother, and I’m an adult.I won’t be able to live with myself unless I try.
Evie’s eyes shine with tears.I can’t believe everything you’d been through.And how hard you’ve been working at school and hockey while this was hanging over you.You’re such an incredible person.
I don’t need praise for what I’m doing, but it does feel nice to have someone who is completely in my corner.Tonight’s question proves that Evie doesn’t prioritize relationships or commitment.She genuinely cares about me with no personal agenda.And that’s a completely new and seductive feeling.I pull her closer to me and let myself relax into the warmth of her support.
19
AGENT OF CHANGE
VIKTOR
THERE’S A BIG LINEUP AT THE WAFFLE PLACE BY THE TIME WE GET THERE ONSUNDAY MORNING,even though it’s snowing hard.
Guess we’ll have to go somewhere else,I tell Evie.
She wrinkles her nose.Oh no, I was excited for waffles.This is all your fault.
I laugh and whisper into her ear.It’s your fault for looking so hot.We would have been out the door an hour earlier if I hadn’t woken up with a naked Evie draped over my body and an aching hard-on.But I can tell by the smile on her face that she’s not really complaining.
Tap, tap.
I look up, and Sinc is motioning to me from one of the diner windows.When we get inside, I can see that he and Coty have a booth we can share.
I give Evie a little smack on the ass as we move towards them and murmur,No more complaining.We get to fuck and eat waffles too.
She’s bright pink by the time we reach them.Her public embarrassment about sex is a hilarious contrast to her uninhibited ways when we’re alone.
Hey, Zee.Hi, Evie,Sinc says.We just got here, so perfect timing.
Sit with me, Killer,Coty says to Evie.That’s his nickname for her ever since she shot him at laser tag.She giggles and slides in beside him.
The waitress brings us coffee and we order right away.
If I knew you were coming too, I would have waited,Coty says.
Last-minute decision,I explain.Once I saw how little food there was in the fridge.
