I continue,Yes, they told me some things about you at the beginning, but all that was superficial.You know me now, the real me.You know how well we fit together—that’s all genuine.
Right, because I’ll believe anything you say.He imbues each word with disgust.We are done.
I struggle to explain myself.I’m sorry.After a while, I didn’t think it mattered.Maybe I should have told you earlier, but there wasn’t a right time.
I swipe blindly at my face, but I can hardly see through the tears.
He sits up and looks at his watch.Speaking of time, maybe you could go now?I’d like to get back to Monique.Or whoever my next girlfriend is going to be.Because that’s how long it will take to replace you.
Does he think this is news to me?I’ve seen how many women are interested in him.But he’s trying to hurt me, to make me think I’m just another in the long list of women who fell for him and then got dumped.
I scramble off the bed, but I can’t even stand straight.I don’t want us to break up, but I accept my responsibility in what happened.I love Viktor, but he doesn’t love me.Or worse, hedidlove me and now I’ve destroyed that open emotional side of him.
I catch sight of myself in the mirror where Viktor undressed me our first time.There’s a purple welt on my neck, my eyes are swollen, my skin is blotchy, and my hair is wild.I look exactly as I feel.
I grab my purse to leave, but I pause at the door.
You warned me that you would hurt me, and you have.And I deserve it.But I always thought that the pain would come from losing you and missing you.I had no idea that you would break up with me so brutally—just to get back at me.
Viktor doesn’t even raise his gaze from his phone, where he’s probably scanning the news updates he’s addicted to.His voice is as casual and unemotional as if I asked him the time.
You look like hell, Evie.Now march through that party and show people what happens when they fuck with me.And if anyone asks—especially my friends who you’ve conned as well—I dare you to tell themexactlywhy I dumped you.You’re not sweet, innocent Evie Smith.You’re a liar and a fake.
Does he want me to hate him?Because he’s doing a great job.
I try to stay calm.So that’s what this is really about.Your reputation.You’d rather destroy everything we have together just because a few women tried to trick you.Is your pride more important than love?
He actually laughs.Love?Did I ever say anything about love?Don’t confuse sex with emotion.
But I’m not like Viktor, and I don’t care about my pride.If this our last conversation, then I’m telling him everything.
I’m in love with you, Viktor.I love the man that you don’t show anyone else, someone tender and vulnerable.And I know you care too, even if you can’t say the words.But I understand that I’ve broken your trust and you can’t get past that.And I’m so, so sorry.
My words hang suspended in the air between us.Viktor finally looks at me, but there’s no tenderness now.He puts down his phone and does a slow clap.
Oh, bravo.Did Daddy teach you that in spy school?You’re such a good actress, Evie.But it’s time to take a bow and get the fuck out of my room.I really hope I never see you again.
No matter how hurtful his words are, I can’t cry anymore.I close the door quietly, then I duck into his bathroom where I pull out my hairbrush and Mia’s emergency kit.I refuse to advertise our breakup with my shattered appearance.
You don’t always get what you want, Viktor Zelenko.
23
THE EVIE SMITH FAN CLUB
VIKTOR
CLEARLYI’M NOT A GOOD PLANNER, SINCE THIS MORNINGI’M TRAPPED WITH THREE MEMBERS OFthe Evie Smith Fan Club.Coty, Sinc, Mats and I are carpooling to the airport in Minnie, where we’ll catch our flights home for Christmas.
I brace myself for all the recriminations on how I treated Evie and what a shit I am.As if I need any reminders when all I can see is her miserable face.I wanted to hurt her, but I had no idea how much that would hurt me.Instead of feeling vindicated, I feel even worse, heaping guilt and pain onto the anger of betrayal.So taking some shit from the guys will be my penance.If there’s one thing I enjoy lately, it’s punishing myself.I’m more of a masochist than any of my sexual partners would ever suspect.
Coty groans.He’s wearing sunglasses even though the day is dreary and grey.Whose idea was it to have a party the night before we had to catch early flights home?
Yours, idiot,I point out.
Easy for you to say.You crashed early.Coty grabs his travel mug and gulps down more coffee.
Sinc is driving and looks in the rearview mirror at me.How’s your headache, Zee?
