Annie, please let him in.
Just hearing Evie’s melodic voice soothes my soul.Annie stands aside, and finally Evie is in front of me.She’s sitting on her bed with textbooks open around her, in a navy top and loose overalls, her long hair pinned up.She’s done nothing special for my arrival, yet her fragile beauty shines through.As I get closer, I can see faint dark circles under her eyes and the straight line of her mouth instead of the delighted smile I used to get.All of this is my fault, yet it still guts me.How could I hurt someone I care so much about?
I sit at the end of her bed, Annie still glowering at me from her side of the room.
Thanks for seeing me,I begin.Evie watches me, expressionless and tense.I have two things to say.First, I’m so sorry for the way I treated you at that party.I was upset, but that was no excuse.I should have told you what I found out and let you tell your side of the story.
Evie bows her head down.My side?It was an awful thing to do to you, and I can’t apologize enough.
I wave a hand.Honestly, we don’t have to rehash all that.And you were right, it doesn’t matter how we came together, just that we did and how good everything was.
She winces at my use of the past tense, but it’s not like things are still good.
I lower my voice, because the next part is my hardest confession.
I did a lot of thinking over the holidays.I realized that I was afraid to tell you how much you hurt me because then you would know how much I care about you.How much power you have over me.
Her eyes fly up to meet mine, questioning.
If I could take back that night, I would, Evie.How many times in the past year have I wished for a time machine?First so I could stop Marko from returning to Ukraine.And now, so I could erase what a complete asshole I was with Evie.
What’s the second thing?she asks since I’ve been silent so long.
I want to thank you for what you did.Talking to your dad.I glance over at Annie, who is listening so hard that her ears are practically vibrating.About my brother.
She tilts her head.How did you know?
Because he called me yesterday with information.Did you not know?
Evie laughs.It’s not her full-bodied laugh, but a dry chuckle.My father operates on a need-to-know basis, and I’m clearly not in the loop.But then she leans closer, forehead creased in concern.Was it good news?
Yes, the best.I’m flying out there tomorrow.Then I frown.Shit.I wasn’t supposed to tell anyone where I got the information, but I assumed that you knew.
Don’t worry.I won’t tell,pipes up Annie.
Evie rubs her forehead.Obviously, the family need for secrecy is deeply ingrained.Maybe we should go down the hall and see if the lounge is empty.
Oh.I’ll go,offers Annie.I just wanted to make sure he wasn’t being a jerk again.She grabs her phone and laptop and disappears.
Finally, we’re alone.But I haven’t yet earned the right to touch her, as much as I long to.Still, I edge closer.
Marko might be part of a prisoner exchange.My dad and I are going.I’m driving to the airport tonight.
Evie’s hand settles on my forearm.The warmth of her touch gilds me.You know about the condition of prisoners, right?
Yeah.There was a kid I used to play with in Horodok.He joined the army and was taken prisoner.When he came back…He had aged from a young man to someone hollow and damaged, both physically and psychologically.At the time, I wondered if death would have been better than his living hell.But now I understand that life is so much better.We can deal with Marko’s problems once he is found.If he is found.
She squeezes my arm.I just wanted to make sure you were prepared.
Thank you for asking your dad.When did you do it?
Oh, while I saw him at Christmas.It wasn’t something I could do on phone,she replies.
So, after everything I did to you, you still did that for me?It’s her unending kindness I can’t get over.How undeserving I am of this woman’s generosity.
Now she puts her hands on top of mine.I luxuriate in the feel of her warm skin against mine.
Viktor, I felt awful about what I did to you.You trusted me—and you don’t trust easily—and I betrayed that trust.I should have told you earlier, but I was afraid.Afraid that I’d lose you.But you were wrong that night.Everything between us was real.Yes, I got help in looking better, or looking more like everyone at Monarch, anyway.But our shared interests, how much I admire you, even the way we’re so sexually…compatible, all of that is genuine.
