I nodded, and he squeezed my arm. It wouldn’t stop me from worrying that I had somehow unraveled their fates, but at least I knew they wanted to be here. I wouldn’t be alone when I ventured into the World Scar to find the loom.
Correction, alone... with Raithe.
Kysa seemed to read my thoughts. “We will have to keep an eye on the iylvahn,” she said softly, making my stomach clench. “I trust him more than the Deathless queen, but not by much.” Her eyes narrowed. “I don’t relish the thought of having the queen’s assassin with us, but he is a capable warrior. And if the queen has ordered him to protect you, we can at least have confidence that he will do so. I will not forgive him for his deception, but as long as our goals are the same, I trust he will not betray us.”
“Well,” said a weary, equally soft voice at our backs. “That’s something, at least.”
Seven
My heart skipped a beat. Kysa stiffened, her expression going hard and dangerous, as we all turned to face the owner of the voice. Raithe stood in the center of the building, out in the open and far from any concealing shadows or darkness. Obviously, he wanted to make certain he was seen. He stepped forward, his eyes glowing softly in the dim light.
“What do you want here, iylvahn?” Kysa asked. Her voice was not biting or cruel, just stiff. A clear indication that he was no longer part of this group, that he was a stranger now.
Raithe’s calm expression didn’t change. “I want to see where we stand,” he said simply. “Before we head out on a long, dangerous journey together. There are a few things we have to discuss.”
“Yes.” Kysa’s tone could cut rock. “There are.”
“Kysa.” Halek’s voice rose through the tension. He paused, then scratched the back of his head with a grimace, as if he was uncomfortable. “I know your clan hates the Deathless,” he said, “but maybe he had good reason to keep that bit of information from us. I mean, I’m sure he’s not allowed to tell people that the queen of the iylvahn is—was—the last remaining Deathless from ancient times.”
“I am certain his reasons are sound,” Kysa replied, not glancing at Halek. Her cold black eyes continued to stare at Raithe,who met her gaze without expression. “Logical, even. I am sure he was under orders not to tell us anything about Irrikah or the queen he serves. But that does not change the fact that he does willingly serve a Deathless. Which makes him an enemy of my people.”
“Would a blood duel clear the air between us?” Raithe asked in a low voice, making my insides turn. Kysa had mentioned a blood duel before. I didn’t know what that was, exactly, but I could guess.
“It might,” Kysa replied, before making a dismissive gesture with one gauntlet. “But it is impractical. If either of us dies, that is one less person to protect Sparrow on the journey, and my vow comes first. Personal grudges are not as important as stopping the Deathless King.”
Raithe nodded. “Then it seems we are stuck with each other until we can find the piece of the loom,” he said. His pale eyes abruptly shifted to me. “However, I understand that some things cannot be forgotten or ignored. If my presence will make it more difficult to achieve our mission, I can ask the queen to replace me with another kahjai, or even one of our warriors. Someone who has no past with any of you. If that will make it easier, I will gladly step aside.”
Everyone looked at me, as if this was my decision alone. My stomach roiled, my mouth going dry as Raithe held my gaze, waiting for an answer. What was I supposed to say, knowing Kysa despised him? Knowing I couldn’t trust him, much as I wanted to?
Knowing that his fate loomed ever closer. And thatthischoice could be the deciding factor for whether the iylvahn lived or died.
Did the queen tell you about your fate,Raithe? Do you know that, very soon, you’re supposed to die? Would it make any difference if you knew?
Hedidn’tknow, I realized. He had told me, before we reached Irrikah, that he was absolutely certain he didn’t want to know his fate. What had Kysa told Halek that night?Everyone knows that trying to avoid your fate only puts you on the path to meeting it.
My heart ached. I wished we could be like we were before. Me and Raithe, not knowing our futures, but knowing we could depend on each other to survive. I wanted to trust him. I knew there were reasons Raithe couldn’t tell me about the queen; I wasn’t even angry about that anymore. The kahjai had only been doing his duty. And I knew that cold, sometimes scary exterior was mostly a facade. That his real personality was warm and funny and surprisingly gentle. That, for such a skilled, cold-hearted assassin, he revered life and used violence only when he had to. But I didn’t want him to have to choose between me and the Deathless queen. Because that choice could rip us both apart, and I was terrified to face the truth of what his decision would be. What ithadto be.
Still, leaving him behind was unthinkable. The uncertainty would drive me crazy. I wouldn’t be able to sleep, wondering where the kahjai was and if his fate had already found him. Maybe I was being selfish. Maybe I was simply sealing his fatewith this decision. But if, as the Fateless, I could ignore prophecy and unravel the thread of anyone I touched, then I would take this chance and hope to change what Fate had decided for him.
I bit my lip, using the pain to clear my thoughts, and shook my head. “No, Raithe,” I said quietly. “I want you to come. I’d rather have you with us than not.”
For just a moment—so fast I probably imagined it—his expression softened, relief flickering through his eyes. But it was gone in a blink, and he nodded stiffly. “As you wish,” he said in a flat voice. “I will meet you tomorrow at the gates to the labyrinth. Be well, Fateless. Until then.”
He nodded to all of us, then turned and walked away. I watched him leave the stables, felt a piece of myself leave with him, and wondered what other secrets the kahjai was hiding from us.
Maybe it was time I found out for myself.
The palace of the Deathless queen was never truly silent. Even when the moon had crept over the hidden city, bathing the outside world in ghostly luminance, the halls of the palace still glowed with light. Iylvahn glided down the corridors, working, wandering, speaking to each other in that strange, lyrical language. Watching them through my cracked-open door, I once again felt... small. Dirty. Unworthy to be in a place like this. Unworthy to be in their presence.
But that wasn’t going to stop what I was about to do next.
I closed my door, leaned my forehead against it, and took adeep breath. Tomorrow we would leave Irrikah, and everything I learned of the city would be lost. Before that happened, I wanted to see it for myself. I was Fateless, so maybe the magic of the city wouldn’t affect me when I left. Maybe Iwouldremember my time here.
I was tired of hiding away in my room. It was time to get out there and see Irrikah, the kingdom of the Deathless queen, and discover what she was really like.
I opened my door wider and peered into the hall. Empty. I stepped into the corridor and closed the door softly behind me, intending to slip out of the palace unseen and head into the city.
“Where areyousneaking off to?”
