Now that it was time to actually move the body, I was having reservations. “I’m not sure we’ll be able to lift him.”
“Not a problem,” she said. “I deadlift 220. I only started pole because I need to get in touch with my feminine side.” She slipped her hands under the mansicle’s shoulders.
When I wrenched his legs, the body slid and lifted. But one of his feet snagged on something. A few more grunting yanks and the frozen body crashed down onto the plastic sled. A beat-up sneaker felloff, revealing a socked foot with the big toe pushing through a hole. Something clattered onto the ground. I moaned in disgust.
“Ireallydon’t think you killed him,” Layna said.
“Of course I didn’t,” I hissed. “That is not up for debate.” Even as I said it, I rubbed at my broken fingernail with the pad of my thumb. I knew there was a chance I was wrong.
The ice and snow bit into my shins as I dropped to all fours, on the hunt for whatever had fallen out of his pocket. My fingers closed on a pill bottle. My phone flashlight illuminated the label. The name of whoever the pills had been prescribed to had been scratched off.
“Ambien,” I said. “Do you think that’s what I was roofied with?”
“And he died with his pants unbuckled,” Layna said. “The bastard!” She gave the corpse a swift kick before stepping into the big loop on the front of the sled.
I followed behind as Layna pulled like a Clydesdale headed to the barn. I propelled the Flexible Flyer forward with hard shoves, trying not to touch the stiff legs clad in denim. “Say the dead guy drugged my gimlet, then grabbed me when I was standing outside waiting for Shade and dragged me around to the alley. But then what?” Had I killed him, put on his vest, and then passed out in my car for seven hours? I shoved hard on the sled, as if to push away the thought. “I honestly don’t think I murdered him and stuffed him in my trunk while zoinked out on Ambien. Maybe I got away from Connor and this Errol showed up and offed him.”
“Possible,” Layna concurred.
“But it still doesn’t explain where the hell I was for seven hours.” I’d woken up in my own bed, which somehow only added to the mystery. “Maybe I should’ve gone to the police. Ambien would’ve shown up in my system the day after, right?”
“Life can only be understood backward,” Layna said.
“Did you see that on a sign at TJ Maxx/HomeGoods?” I said.
“That’s pure Etsy, baby.”
As we passed through the fence gate, I stood up straight to close it as Layna leaned forward, straining against the rope loop. When it snapped, she fell face forward, hitting the ground with a hard thump.
“William Shatner!” she said.
“Shhhhh!” I said. “My babysitter will hear. Also, you okay?”
She crawled up onto her hands and knees. “TBD.”
“I got it,” I said. Squatting all the way down, I pushed on the sled with all the power of my haunches. It didn’t budge.
“Move it,” Layna said. With one powerful shove, the sled slid forward until the front tip pressed up against the open double doors of the playhouse. She deadlifted the back end. “Come on, wussy. Buck up!” she whispered.
Holding my breath, I leaned in and pushed the rigor mortis-ed butt cheeks. The scrunched-up corpse slid into the playhouse and out of sight as the back porch light came on.
A silhouetted figure stepped through my sliding glass door and raised the stock of a crossbow to her shoulder. “Who’s there?” Emmylou cried.
I stepped out of the blackness. “Emmylou, it’s me—Tilly! Put that thing down.”
“You scared me!” Emmylou said. “What in the heck are you doing in the backyard?”
A sigh of relief escaped me. She hadn’t seen anything. “I’m loaning a sled to my friend from pole.” I hadn’t lied to a maternal figure since my teenage years, but apparently it was like riding a bike.
Layna popped up from behind the playhouse, holding the sled. “Just giving it a test push around the yard,” she said.
“I’m Emmylou!”
“Emmylou! The fabulous neighbor!” Layna said, sounding like she’d never been so pleased to meet someone. “The fact that you look after the kids so this one can get out of the house—” She hooked a thumb in my direction. “Incredible!”
“I knew Tilly would meet some fun ladies at pole!” Emmylou cried.
“Thanks for the loan, Tilly!” Layna lifted the sled aloft with both hands, which was either a nice touch or too much. I really couldn’t tell.
