“I’m about to,” Agent Mozzarella huffed.
“I want to cooperate,” I said. “I’ll tell you everything. See, Botox is one of the world’s most powerful toxins. People don’t seem to realize, but it’s deadly.”
Nate gazed at me, as if trying to solve the puzzle of my bizarre behavior. Meanwhile, Agent Mozzarella put his hand to the gun on his hip, concerned my manic babbling might take a violent turn. Nate stepped forward and pulled open the playhouse doors.
The only male figure sprawled inside was a twelve-inch Ken doll.
Idaho Connor had vanished.
Forty
Nate and Agent Mozzarella stared at me, waiting for me to explain my outburst. But all I could think was:Where in God’s green acres is the corpse?Even the Hefty Cinch Sak containing Connor’s teal vest had disappeared.
“Sorry,” I stammered. “I got Botox. For the first time. Yesterday.” I pointed at my forehead, which had enough lines to make my story unconvincing. “And it’s a toxin. A neurotoxin. And I think it’s affecting me.” This ridiculous excuse was the best I could manage. “I wanted you to... to look in my kids’ playhouse and... and see that Ken doll because basically that’s what I feel like. Plastic fantastic.” The men looked baffled. “You’ll wanna search the shed, right? I have the key. Let me grab it.”
Nate followed me inside, ostensibly to make sure I wasn’t going to flush a pound of cocaine down the toilet. But as soon as we were in the kitchen, he said, “Tilly, what’s going on?”
We faced each other, no more than two feet between us. There were gold flecks of concern in his eyes. If I stood on my tiptoes, I could’ve kissed him. But of course I didn’t. Not now.
“Going on?” I squeaked.
“Why’d you think we were going to arrest you?” he said.
I opened and closed my mouth, as if I’dFreaky Friday-ed with a goldfish. Now was the time to say:Some creepy white supremacists are planning to attack the capitol in eleven days.But no sound came out.
“You know, if you need anything, you can let me know,” Nate said, his face creased with worry, confusion, and—could it be?—longing. It’d only been five days since we’d pressed every possible square inch of ournaked flesh together. Surely he was wondering why I’d ghosted him, and why I seemed so off my nut now.
But instead of trusting the first man I could actually see myself with for the long haul, I said, “I need you and your work buddy to finish up and get out of here so I can get my kids to school.”
Hurt flashed in his eyes, even as he nodded. “Okay. If that’s what you want.”
By the time Nate and his fellow agent had searched our whole side of the duplex, the twins had missed the bus, so I drove them to school.
“Why did Coach Duran and that other man want to look through all our things, Mommy?” Phoebe asked.
“They’re trying to find a bad guy,” I said, meeting her eye in the rearview mirror.
“There’s a bad guy hiding at our house?” Alice said, sounding worried.
“No, no. Everything there is safe and sound,” I said. “They were just making sure.”
“Is Coach Duran going to be your boyfriend?” Phoebe asked.
“We like him,” Alice said.
“I don’t need a boyfriend,” I said, as I pulled up to the front entrance of Roosevelt Elementary. “I’m too busy being a mom.”
“You don’t seem that busy,” Phoebe added, helpfully. “Maybe you could find the time.”
When Gucci sashayed in to meet me at Guru Donuts in her ankle-length fuzzy black coat printed with green alien faces, I wanted to jump up and hug her for making me feel a sliver less alone. Since I figured Ralphie and Errol wouldn’t darken the doors of a donut shop offering hipsterberry donuts for $40 a dozen, I’d already taken off my scarf, hoodie, and sunglasses and now offered to buy Gucci’s donut and coffee even though it was fifty-fifty whether or not my credit card would be declined.
“What do you mean, the body’s gone?” she said in a shocked whisper as we tucked into our sprinkle donuts. (By the time this mystery was solved or I went to jail, I might be three-quarters sugar.)
“Gone. Vanished. Disappeared. Two inches of snow covering any possible tracks. Did you, by any chance, move it? You got a pink sprinkle. Right here.”
“Of course I didn’tmoveit,” she said, wiping at her nose. “Got it?”
“Got it,” I said.
