“I’m not sick,” I confirm, threads of tension leaving my body. “I didn’t realise I looked that bad.”
She turns, facing away from the river again, and rests her elbows behind her on the wall, letting her entire body relax. In the distance, there’s a rumble of thunder, and she glances upbefore looking back at me. “Maybe terrible is an exaggeration. But worse than when I left, for sure. So this is good news, I guess. I couldn’t take you being sickandheartbroken. I mean, youarea terrible father for this, but I don’t want you to die over it. I’m glad you’re not sick.” She sighs, wiping again at her tears. “But if you don’t fatten yourself up and sort yourself out, Diana won’t want you back.”
“Excuse me?”
Lizzie shrugs. “She’s flourishing, and you’re fading away. She looks so beautiful at the moment. Glorious up there on the stage. Totally out of your league, by the way.”
“Well, thanks,” I mutter, unsure how the conversation took this turn.
For a while, we’re both quiet, staring out into the distance. I don’t know what Lizzie’s thinking, but I’m still mulling over her words. Finally, I ask, “Are you suggesting youwantme to tell Diana?”
“That you love her? Yes. You made a bloody great scene in there, so you might as well. Everyone knows now. Or at least every person in that auditorium knows, and if they don’t, they’re busy googling your name and uploading videos to social media full of conspiracy theories. You’ll be famous by morning.”
I grimace. “Sounds terrible.”
Lizzie heaves a breath, her shoulders sinking lower as she exhales. “Maybe Diana’s fine without you. I mean, she looks fine. She looksgreat. But either way, you have to go and tell her how you feel because what you just admitted is the most romantic thing I’ve ever heard.” She retches. “It’s still gross, but very romantic. Diana would like it.”
I allow myself a single chuckle. “She probably would.”
“I’m serious. You can’t be withering away because you’re in love with someone who ended it with you because ofme. I’m not some evil witch. I don’t need you to keep putting me first. I’m anadult now. I love you. I want you to be happy. And I know you’ve never really loved anyone.” She swallows, looking away as she lowers her head. “Maybe not even my mother.”
“Lizzie—”
She raises a hand. “I really hoped you’d find someone. I prayed that you’d fall in love and be happy.”
“You prayed?”
“Yeah. I did. I know we’re not religious, but what else could I do?” She laughs. “Now that I think of it, I prayed really hard right before I went off to find Diana in that Uxbridge flat that smelled like fried onions and didn’t have any heating. I prayed in the caron the way there.” She presses her hands together and lifts her gaze to the sky. “Please God, let my dad find love. He’s so grumpy and lonely, and all he does is work.” She shoots me a look, tapping two fingers to her sternum. “So I did it, really. It wasme. I found love for you. I brought it right into the house.”
I contemplate telling her that Diana and I met before she ever brought her into the Emblem, but that would require an explanation I’m not willing to give. There are some things Lizzie never needs to know.
“When you get married, I’m taking all the credit,” she says, and her chuffed expression makes me smile.
“I’m not getting married. I’m not evenwithDiana. I don’t think I ever really was.”
“Well.” She shrugs. “If you don’t go and tell her that you love her, I’ll do it. It will be awkward and horrible, and I’ll ruin your chance to tell the woman you love how you feel. Diana’s a romantic. I promise you, she definitely won’t wantthat.”
44
DIANA
We’re in the green room. Me, Julian, and Henry. I don’t know where Charlie went, but I suspect he’s gone after Lizzie. I hope he’s comforting her somewhere, if she’s not still fighting with Rafe.
Dad didn’t hang about either; he threw a few curse words in my direction before staggering away with Sylvie when both Julian and Henry threatened to hit him again if he came near me.
I’m a jangle of nerves, and sitting still is challenging. I don’t know what I’m waiting for, sitting back here, but leaving Julian and Henry, who are the only people left who witnessed what just happened, doesn’t feel like a good idea. Lizzie must hate me. Rafe’s probably forgotten me in his rush to comfort his daughter.
Julian sits on a metal-framed chair, his elbows on his knees, cradling an ice pack provided by a member of staff in his sore hand. He can move his fingers, although he winces when he forms a fist and flexes them again. Henry sits beside him, scrolling on his phone.
“Fucking hurts,” Julian mutters.
“Very manly, complaining about it so much,” Henry says, ruffling Julian’s thick, dark hair with his free hand.
Julian jerks away. “When was the last time you punched someone? It’s painful.”
Henry tucks his phone into his pocket, leans back in his chair, and props one ankle on his opposite knee, exposing a mustard coloured sock beneath his navy suit trousers. “I don’t hit people. Ever. I’m a gentleman. You’re an animal.”
“You threatened to hit him too,” Julian says..
