I fall silent. I can’t deny it, even though it feels like my heart is breaking.
‘I never pushed you for more, back in the slums,’ he admits. ‘Mum always urged me to tell you how I felt. Maybe, if I had, things would be different.’
‘Ruben—’
‘No feelings, we said, and I knew it was true for you, but I was all in from the start. You know that right? I was all in.’
‘I’m sorry—’ I try, but he still has more to say, and he deserves to speak. He deserves to have me listen.
‘I knew if I pushed for more, you’d end things. So I didn’t. I pretended I didn’t love you either. Took the scraps that I could get, and I was grateful for them.’
Tears streak down my cheeks. ‘I’m sorry,’ I repeat. ‘You deserved so much more than that. You still do.’
‘Yes.’ He nods. ‘I do.’ He brushes the tears from my face and pulls me into a warming embrace as he presses a gentle kiss to my forehead. ‘Some part of me will always love you,’ he murmurs, and my heart breaks a little more.
Here is a man who loves me, who is kind and selfless and true, and though I wish with all that I am that I could love him instead of Kyor, I don’t.
Ruben releases me and turns and walks out of the clearing, leaving me alone with my broken fucking heart and one hell of a headache.
Chapter 27
Istay in the clearing for a while, trying to collect my scattered thoughts. What the hell just happened? Not only did I break Ruben’s heart, but did I also somehow give him a piece of my magic?
I was touching him, wishing he had magic, and then he somehow created a flame for the first time in his life. It can’t be a coincidence. All I can think is that somehow I gave his natural magic a boost.
My mind reels with the implications of it.
This might be an even worse development than shooting ice from my fingers. An even more dangerous facet to the Issen’s powers than mere ice. If I’m right and I can somehow boost someone’s inherent magic … if that got out, I’d be sold to the highest bidder.
A chill creeps along my spine. Not only would I not get my happy ever after, but I’d also get a life in chains. In servitude. A fate worse than death, or even being stripped of my powers.
My stomach is in knots, but hunger finally drags me to the campsite. I know instantly that Ruben hasn’t told anyone what happened. Everyone is just sitting around the fire like normal. Or as normal as they can get in this group. And Itrustthis group. They’re here, travelling away from safety, to help me. They, at least, deserve to know the fullextent of my powers. Something like this could save us all, and I’m not going to be foolish enough to hide it from them. Even Kyor, with his overwhelming arseholery, never told a soul about my Issen magic. I can trust him still with this, if not my heart.
Benny hovers protectively near Loch, Caz sits next to Ruben, and Kyor is sitting on a log by the fire, with Elska just behind him.
The prince’s gaze finds me the moment I step into the circle of light, tracking me like I’m the only thing that matters. Heat prickles at the back of my neck and I have to force myself not to look at him.
Instead, I look solely at Ruben. Whether it was my magic that gave him the gift or not, I still don’t have the right to tell the others what happened. Not without his permission. And yet as his eyes meet mine, it’s like he knows what I’m asking, and somehow that makes it so much worse. He knows me so well. And loves me still.
‘Everything all right?’ Caz asks, breaking the silence as she looks at me.
‘Umm.’ The sound hums in my throat as I struggle to know how to answer.
‘Something happened,’ Ruben comments for me. ‘Something with Rose’s magic, we think.’
Kyor’s eyes snap to me as his back stiffens. ‘What? What happened, Rose?’
Well, there’s no backing out of it now.
‘Ruben,’ I ask softly. ‘Can you show them?’
Ruben nods as once again his eyes meet mine. Tired, weary eyes. I hate that I’m making him perform like a circus animal, but sometimes you need actions not words. Sometimes, seeing is believing.
‘I think it’s fading a little,’ Ruben confirms to me, ‘but it’s definitely still there.’
With the slightest hint of a smile, he lifts his palm, and a small flame ignites in the centre.
Caz gasps.
