As I glance down, I realise she’s right. I’m still in my ball gown. The deep green gown with the lace-up back that Thea tightened. Thea, the woman Kyor supposedly loved before he loved me. If he ever loved either of us.
It is impossible to know what is true anymore.
My memory draws me back to the Spire. To Thea curling my hair, pretending to help me. It is enough to make me feel sick all over again.
‘You’re right,’ I say, suddenly desperate to get out of the ballgown. ‘I’ll be back shortly.’
My breath quickens as I head into the hallway. It is as though the threads of the corset are being pulled tighter and tighter, crushing my ribs. I yank at the fabric, trying to free myself, trying to stop my head from swimming as my lungs scream for air. I have barely reached the bottom of the staircase when a loud chime rings abruptly through the house. My stomach jolts as I freeze.
A bell?
Adrenaline surges through me, more overwhelming than ever before. Gasping with fear, I scrabble for a weapon before my brain catches up to the moment.
This is not a call to arms.
The bell isn’t to warn me of a trial commencing, but merely to announce that someone is at the door.
Embarrassment warms my cheeks as I try to slow my thundering heart, yet my breaths are still shallow even as Summer joins me in the hall, wiping her hands on her apron.
‘Are you expecting visitors, m’lady?’
Visitors? Who would be visiting me now when the ball is still mid-flow?
‘Whoever it is,’ I say, ‘turn them away.’ I shrink out of sight but remain nearby, too curious to leave.
She nods briskly. ‘Of course, m’lady. It’s been a long day.’ As she moves to the front door, I remain out of view, listening in. ‘I’m sorry, Lady Rose isn’t accepting callers,’ Summer says politely as she opens the door. ‘She’s already asleep.’
‘Then wake her up,’ a voice snaps, ‘or I’ll do it myself!’
I stiffen. Jonas.
He begged me to speak to him at the ball. Was it to discuss his father’s engagement to Kay?
‘I’m not leaving until I speak to her,’ Jonas continues forcefully. ‘This is the Goddess’s wish. I’ll stay here on this doorstep all night if I have to. Rose! Rose!’ Jonas shouts into the house. ‘Rose!’
‘Please, sir,’ Summer tries again. ‘Please, Lady Rose is sleeping?—’
‘Rose! I know you’re?—’
‘It’s all right, Summer,’ I say, stepping out of the shadows. ‘You can let him in. He won’t be staying long.’ The comment is as much for Jonas’s benefit as for Summer’s.
The maid nods at me before pointedly looking at Jonas and then back at me. It takes me a moment to realise she is waiting to see if I will require her to fetch drinks. But I meant the comment about Jonas not staying, and so I give her a quick shake of my head.
At the gesture, she scurries back to the kitchen, leaving Jonas and me alone.
Manners dictate that I offer him a seat in one of the countless reception rooms, but it’s late and he’s intruding, so he can damned well stand in the entryway.
‘Rose.’ His eyes scan me, as if looking for injuries. ‘You ran from the ball,’ he says, stepping closer. ‘I couldn’t find you. Is everything okay?’
I fold my arms. ‘Is this you asking – or your father?’
‘My father?’ He frowns in confusion and I meet his expression with one that I’m certain is nearly identical. If he doesn’t know of the engagement, then why the hell is he here?
Ugh, surelynotto propose again?
‘What do you want, Jonas?’
‘I … I wanted to come and see you,’ he says, nerves creeping into his expression. He looks away and tugs at the cuffs of his shirt, avoiding my gaze. ‘Needed to. There’s something you and I must discuss.’ He clears his throat, but he seems suddenly unable to form words.
