‘Loch, you know me. You can trust me, remember.’ Benny speaks softly, as if he’s trying to tame a wild animal. ‘Gods, I’m so glad to see you, buddy. You have no idea how good it is to see you.’ I don’t need Caz’s power to know he’s speaking the truth.
‘He’s one of the lost Rettlings …’ Ruben’s voice is filled with both awe and disbelief. I turn and offer him a single nod in confirmation, and Ruben’s eyes light up. For him, the Retterheld is something glamorous, to be admired. For us, it was a living hell for weeks on end where you never knew what you’d face or when. Never knew if you’d escape alive.
Just like Loch didn’t … or so we thought.
‘We need to get him food and water,’ Benny says, his voice clear. Commanding. ‘It looks like he’s got some infections, too,’ he adds, looking at me. ‘Have you got something for that?’
‘Yes, I’ve got some medical supplies in my bag,’ I tell him. ‘I’m sure I’ll have something that can help.’
I hasten back to the horses and find the satchel I packed with Mother’s old tonics and herbs that were still potent. When I return, Loch is crouched on the ground, rocking slightly.
‘Here, Loch.’ I offer him water first, which he looks at hesitantly before grabbing the flask and downing it like it’s the first drop he’s had in months.
‘How has he survived?’ I whisper to Benny, not that there’s any point in keeping my voice low. I might as well have shouted for all my hushed voice did to stop Loch from hearing me.
‘I don’t know. It’s a miracle. Maybe Etta did favour us after all.’ He turns to look at me. ‘Look, I know you wanted to get a couple more hours riding in today, and I hate to ask?—’
‘You don’t have to,’ I tell him, putting myhand on his shoulder and smiling, even though the delay chafes. It’s the right thing to do, Mother’s ring or not. ‘We’ll set up camp here tonight. I’ll let the others know.’
‘Thank you,’ he murmurs gratefully, not taking his eyes off Loch.
We set up camp far earlier than usual, and I give Loch some medication to help combat his infection. After, he curls up by the fire, eyes wide but unseeing. Awake but unresponsive.
The group is wrapped in unease, and all eyes keep turning to our newest addition. While the horses are tethered close by, the fire burns low and steady with Loch lying too close to it, breathing but silent. No one else speaks much either. Perhaps because we know there is no such thing as a hushed conversation, not anymore. Not with Loch here. Or perhaps it’s because we can’t find the words.
‘Given that we’re here for the night and we have more time than usual before night falls, I think we should try working on that power of yours,’ Kyor says, moving over to me. ‘Out here, there’s no one to see you practise. If we can get you some semblance of control before we reach the Issen, I’d be happier.’
That makes sense, and doing nothing is almost unbearable, and so I nod.
‘Okay. I’ll work on it when I’m somewhere I won’t put the others at risk.’
‘We can go a little way off. Elska’ll still be able to hear this lot and alert us to any danger. You need to focus on seeing if you can draw on it at command.’
I dislike obeying him, but he’s right. I do need to get a handle on this, and if I can learn enough on this journey, perhaps we won’t even need to reach our destination.
Maybe I won’t need the Issen to teach me at all.
It’s a fool’s hope, but I cling to it all the same.
We move a little way away to an adjoining clearing.
‘Probably best if you go to the other end?’ I suggest to Kyor. ‘Just so you’ve got a bit of a head start if I do lose control.’
‘I’d prefer you just didn’t lose control,’ he counters, but moves across to the end of the clearing anyway. ‘Try to conjure some ice,’ Kyor calls over. ‘Or freeze the ground. Whatever you think will come easiest.’
I tug the cold magic within me, but it’s sluggish and lethargic, andtry as I might, I can’t do more than cool the air slightly. And truthfully? That may just be the effect of the waning sun.
We persevere for an hour but achieve precisely fuck all with my Issen powers.
‘Maybe you’re trying to do too much,’ Kyor says, having returned to my side when it became clear no massive bursts of magic were about to fly from my fingertips. ‘What about a light frost?’
‘I’ve already tried that,’ I tell him grumpily.
‘Maybe focus on an object then. Like a tree. Or something smaller. A leaf, even.’ I know he’s trying to be helpful, but every suggestion Kyor makes grates more and more.
Could I grow a vine and strangle him? Yes, easily. Can I make it even a little frost-covered? Not for shit.
Frustration is biting at me when Ruben walks into the clearing.
