“All the time.”
“I hope to see it more.”
With a laugh, she inquired, “What did you wish to ask me?”
Ellie watched as Lord Bideford’s face grew solemn, then asked, “Why is it that you laugh so freely and unconstrained?”
“Why wouldn’t I?”
“You have had many great tragedies fall upon you, and yet, you still smile,” he said. “Why is that?”
“It wasn’t as if I could give up.”
“No one would fault you if you did.”
“I would fault myself.”
Lord Bideford stopped in front of her bedchamber door and turned to face her. “Why aren’t you more angry?”
“I was, for many months,” Ellie revealed. “I was mad at my father for dying and leaving my mother and I to our fates. I hated that Lord Worthington was such a despicable man and was attempting to force my hand.”
“What changed?”
She met his gaze. “It was something my mother told me.”
“Which was?”
A wistful smile came to her lips. “She said that a heart filled with anger has no room for love in it.”
“That is some sound advice.”
“I thought so, and it has resonated with me since,” she said. “I could be angry, but if I am, then I lose a part of myself, and that’s something that I’m not willing to do.”
Lord Bideford seemed to consider her words for a moment before saying, “I find myself in the awkward position of envying you.”
“You envy me?” Ellie asked, surprised.
He grinned. “It seems ironic, since you are practically destitute.”
“Thank you for that reminder,” she muttered.
“But you have something that I want.”
She eyed him curiously. “Which is?”
“You have found a reason to laugh, despite all of your burdens.” Lord Bideford spoke so softly Ellie had to lean in to hear him.
Feeling bold, she asked, “What brings you joy, my lord?”
He winced slightly. “I’m not sure. At least, not anymore.”
“You first need to decide what brings you joy, then focus on that.”
Lord Bideford’s expression was downcast as he admitted, “It has been so long since I have felt joy.”
“Then we must remind you what it is that brought you happiness before.”
“I fear I am a lost cause.”
