Lord Bideford’s shoulders slumped, and he looked bogged down by the weight of his confession. “The magistrate sided in my favor, and even praised me for being a hero,” he said, “but I wasn’t a hero to that man’s family.”
“Does your family know?”
“Charles does, as did my father,” he replied. “I am unsure if my mother and Emma have ever discovered the truth, since I paid off both families to keep it quiet.”
“I see.”
Lord Bideford’s eyes were moist. “I keep replaying that night over and over again, wondering what I could have done differently. How I could have prevented that man’s death.”
“And what have you come up with?”
“I’ve come up with nothing,” he said, his voice rising.
Ellie rose from the bench and stepped closer to him. “Could that be because you did nothing wrong?”
“But I did,” he insisted. “I killed that man.”
“He left you little choice,” she said. “He could have run off, but instead, he stayed and fought with you.”
“I shouldn’t have gone into that barn.”
Ellie placed a hand on the sleeve of his blue jacket. “If you hadn’t, just think what would have become of that poor woman.”
“I know, but nothing seems to take away the gnawing guilt inside of me.”
“I can’t even imagine what you have gone through, but his death truly wasn’t your fault,” she asserted. “It was a terrible accident.”
“That I caused.”
“No, that man caused it by forcing himself on that woman,” she stated. “You just ended it.”
Lord Bideford shook his head. “You are wrong. What I did was unforgivable.”
“Passing by that barn and ignoring the woman’s screams would have been unforgivable,” she insisted. “You did nothing that needs forgiveness.”
“I wish I could believe you.”
Ellie took a step closer, tilting her head to look up at him. “You are exactly what I thought you were,” she said. “You are an honorable gentleman.”
“How can you stand there and say that to me?” he asked, his brow furrowed. “After everything I just said to you?”
“Was there more to the story that you left out?”
“No.”
“Then I stand by my statement,” she remarked. “The man’s death, albeit tragic, should not be on your conscience.” She lowered her voice to emphasize her words. “You are a hero to the woman that you saved. Just as you are my hero for saving me from Lord Worthington.”
Lord Bideford stared at her as though gauging her sincerity. “Do you mean that?”
“I do.”
“How is that possible?”
Ellie offered him a tender smile as she removed her hand from his sleeve. “I am sorry for what you were forced to endure, but it is time for you to forgive yourself and move on.”
“I’m afraid it’s not that easy.”
“It can be,” she said. “Sometimes the hardest thing to do is learning to forgive ourselves.”
