Arabella met his gaze. “I was just thinking about my mother.”
“I was saddened to hear about her passing,” Colin said. “She was a remarkable woman.”
“She was.”
Colin dismounted his horse and secured it. “I received word that she had passed, but I didn’t hear any particulars.”
“I’m afraid it was rather sudden. She collapsed and never regained consciousness,” Arabella informed him. “The doctor said her heart failed her.”
“I am sorry to hear that.”
“Thank you,” she replied. “I’m afraid I didn’t even have a chance to say goodbye.”
“That must have been hard.”
Arabella nodded. “I always considered my mother to be the strongest woman I know. I never thought she would die at such a young age.”
“Death is no respecter of persons.”
“No, it is not.” Arabella paused. “I apologize for going on. I know that you have had your share of death, as well.”
“You never have to apologize to me, especially when you are speaking from the heart,” Colin said.
“That is kind of you to say.”
“There is nothing kind about it,” he replied, his eyes growing intense. “You may not consider me a friend, but I think of you as one.”
Arabella’s horse whinnied, drawing her attention. “I should go.”
“Must you?” Colin asked.
She wasn’t quite ready to say goodbye to Colin, but she didn’t dare admit that. She knew she was being reckless with her heart by even spending this moment in his presence. However, it felt like a reprieve to talk to him. His voice had always been able to soothe her troubled soul.
She came to a decision, despite her misgivings. “I suppose I could tarry for a little longer.” They stared at one another, and before it grew awkward, she asked, “How are you enjoying managing the estate?”
Colin let out a groan. “It is awful.”
“Why do you say that?”
“I spend the majority of the day in meetings,” Colin said. “Furthermore, I have debated about throwing the ledgers out of the window on more than one occasion.”
“Surely, it can’t be that bad?” she questioned.
“It’s worse,” he replied. “This was not a life that I ever wanted.”
“I know, but you are in a position to enact real change.”
Colin ran a hand through his hair. “I’m afraid I do not care about farming techniques,” he admitted. “I would much rather be doing something worthwhile.”
“That is terribly unfair of you to say,” she chided. “You are responsible for many people and their livelihoods.”
“I know I sound ungrateful, but I do not want to spend the remainder of my days sitting behind a desk.”
“Then don’t.”
Colin cocked his head. “Pardon?”
Arabella took a step closer to him. “You can forge your own path.”
