“He wouldn’t be the first man to do so.”
“No, but that is one of the reasons why I accepted Lord Eastwood’s offer,” she admitted. “I felt like an interloper in my own home, and I knew I needed to establish my own household.”
“What were the other reasons?”
Arabella pursed her lips, delaying her response. “My reasons are my own.”
“I respect that, but I am trying to make sense of why you ever agreed to marry that lout in the first place.”
“He was very handsome.”
“More so than me?”
Arabella closed her eyes, knowing that Colin was intentionally goading her. “I never said that,” she murmured.
Colin took a step closer to her. “Why did you accept Lord Eastwood’s offer of marriage?” he asked softly.
She brought her gaze up as she boldly admitted, “I knew I could never fall in love with him.”
Surprise registered on Colin’s face. “I’m afraid I don’t understand,” he said. “Why would you want a loveless marriage?”
“Because it is much easier that way.”
“How so?”
Arabella took a step back, creating more distance between them. “I couldn’t risk losing my heart again.”
He winced. “That doesn’t sound like you, Bella.”
“I’m afraid I was forced to grow up after you left me, and I realized that love was a trivial emotion.”
“It isn’t trivial.”
“No?” Arabella asked. “Pardon me if I don’t believe you. You spoke of love to me once, but you walked away from it.”
Colin opened his mouth to reply but she spoke first. “It would be best if I departed.”
“Bella…”
“Please don’t say anything,” she said. “I shouldn’t have brought it up. It wasn’t fair of me to do so.”
“We need to discuss this.”
Walking over to her horse, she used a fallen log to assist her onto the side saddle. “I would prefer not to.”
“May I ask why?”
“Because you lost that right when you broke our engagement.”
He approached her horse and put a hand on the gelding’s neck. “I would like to explain my reasons for doing so,” he pleaded.
“I’m sorry, but I am not interested.”
Arabella urged her horse forward, ignoring the crestfallen look on Colin’s face. She knew she was being entirely unfair to him, but she needed to protect her heart.
Chapter Eight
Colin stared out the window at the mist that hung low in the gardens as the morning sun streamed into his bedchamber. He’d had the most fitful night of sleep, and it was all because of Arabella. There were so many things he wanted to say to her, that he needed to say. It wasn’t just because he wanted to clear his conscience; he wanted her to know the truth.
